In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best traffic jokes, traffic puns and traffic dad jokes to make you laugh.
Slow Down for These Hilarious Traffic Jokes
1. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
2. What did the stop sign say to the car? “Stop and smell the exhaust fumes!”
3. Why did the car break up with the highway? It just couldn’t deal with the constant lane changes.
4. What did the impatient driver say to the slow car? “What’s the hold up, are you driving in reverse?”
5. Why did the bicycle fall over in traffic? It was two tired!
6. What do you call a group of cows blocking the road? a “moo-ving” traffic jam!
7. Why did the car cross the road? To get to the nearest gas station!
8. What do you get if you cross a car and a kangaroo? A traffic jam!
9. Why did the traffic jam get divorced? It had too many wrecks on the side.
10. What do you call a snowman in a traffic jam? A slush puppy!
Speeding Ticket? These Traffic Jokes Will Make You Laugh
1. Why was the math book sad in traffic? It had too many problems.
2. What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pork chop!
3. Why was the car driving so cautiously? It had too many accidents in its past.
4. What do you call a car with a broken tail light? A “body” shop.
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
6. Why did the traffic cone go to the doctor? It had a terrible case of “cones-tipation.”
7. What do you call a bear caught in traffic? A “jam” bear.
8. Why did the car bring a map to the bar? It couldn’t find a parking spot!
9. What do you call a dinosaur in a traffic jam? A “tyrannosaurus wrecks.”
10. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts!
Merge into Laughter with These Funny Traffic Jokes
1. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus!
2. Why did the pony get sent to his room? He wouldn’t stop horsing around!
3. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
4. What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory!
5. Why did the traffic light turn yellow? You would too if you had to change so often!
6. Why did the newspaper go to the comedy club? It wanted to become a stand-up comedian!
7. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
9. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
10. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Don’t Get Road Rage, Get a Chuckle with These Traffic Jokes
1. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino!
2. What kind of car does a Jedi drive? A toy-yoda!
3. Why did the bee get married? He found his honey!
4. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
5. What’s large, grey, and doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!
6. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
7. What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the bar? “Use the fruit, Luke.”
8. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
9. What do you call a mountain of cats? A meowtain!
10. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
Hit a Pothole? These Traffic Jokes Will Cheer You Up
1. Why do bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired!
2. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
4. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes its car? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
5. Why did the car bring an umbrella? In case it had a flat tire!
6. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball!
7. What did one traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don’t look, I’m changing!
8. What do traffic signs do on vacation? They take a stop over!
9. Why did the car break up with the road? It just couldn’t see things lane-to-lane!
10. Why was the car running on the highway? Because it didn’t want to get tired!