Top Blood Jokes, Blood Puns, Blood Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best blood jokes, blood puns and blood dad jokes to make you laugh.

Bloody Hilarious: Top 10 Blood Jokes That Will Leave You Laughing

1. Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?
Because he heard stakes were high.
2. What do you call a vampire who’s always sick?
A nosfer-achoo!
3. Why was the vampire always calm?
Because nothing gets under his skin.
4. Did you hear about the vampire who bit Beyonce?
He got a taste of her blood-wagon.
5. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
6. Why did the vampire subscribe to the New York Times?
For the daily blood type.
7. How do vampires get around on Halloween?
By blood vessels.
8. Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
He heard it had great circulation.
9. How do vampires like their steak cooked?
Bloody rare.
10. What do you call a vampire with no teeth?
A gum-bite.

A Bloody Good Time: The Funniest Blood Jokes You’ll Hear Today

1. Why did the blood bank teller break up with her boyfriend?
He was always checking out other deposits.
2. How did the vampire fix his broken coffin?
With coffin glue.
3. Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank?
He wanted a taste of the working world.
4. What do you call a ghost’s blood type?
5. Why was the werewolf covered in blood?
He had a beastly appetite.
6. What do you call a vampire who loves candy?
Count Chocula.
7. How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
8. Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
In case he needed to draw blood.
9. What did one blood cell say to the other blood cell?
“Stop being so vein.”
10. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.

Blood-curdling Laughter: The Best Jokes About Blood You Need to Know

1. Why was the blood transfusion learner so successful?
He had a lot of drive.
2. What did the vampire say to his victim in the blood bank?
“Your type is B positive.”
3. Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
Because he had bat breath.
4. How does a vampire brush his teeth?
With fang paste.
5. What do you get when you cross a bloodhound with a vampire?
A dog that sniffs out more than just bones.
6. What’s a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel.
7. Why did the vampire avoid the haunted house?
He heard it was full of bad blood.
8. How does a vampire keep his skin looking fresh?
With count-er cream.
9. Why did the ghost go to the blood donation center?
He wanted to give someone else a ghost of a chance.
10. How did the vampire fix his flat tire?
With a blood jack.