Top Possum Jokes, Possum Puns, Possum Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best possum jokes, possum puns and possum dad jokes to make you laugh.

Hilarious Possum Puns That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

1. How does a possum keep its fur looking nice? It uses conditioner.
2. What do you call a possum with a top hat? Sir Possumington.
3. Why did the possum bring a pencil to the party? In case there was a draw.
4. What’s a possum’s favorite game? Hide and squeak.
5. What do you get when you cross a possum and a kangaroo? A marsupial mess.
6. Why was the possum invited to the comedy club? Because it could play dead like no one else.
7. How does a possum get to work? By playing possumdriver.
8. Why did the possum break up with its girlfriend? She was too clingy.
9. What’s a possum’s favorite movie? The Fast and the Furriest.
10. How does a possum write a thank-you letter? With its possum-opposable thumbs.

Top Funny Possum Jokes to Brighten Your Day

1. What do you call a possum with a smartphone? A tech-savvy marsupial.
2. Why did the possum bring a ladder to the bar? It heard the drinks were on the house.
3. How do you throw a party for a possum? Play dead-ic games.
4. What did the possum say when it bumped into a tree? “Oh, just hanging around.”
5. Why did the possum start a band? It heard they were great at playing dead.
6. What’s a possum’s favorite instrument? The dead-olin.
7. What do you get when you cross a possum with a vampire? A creature of the night who loves to play dead.
8. Why did the possum go to school? To learn how to play dead like a pro.
9. What’s a possum’s favorite subject in school? Playing possumics.
10. How do possums communicate in the wild? They play deadphone tag.

Laugh Until You Drop with These Possum Jokes

1. Why did the possum bring a broom to the party? To sweep the ladies off their feet.
2. How does a possum keep its cool? By playing dead-cool.
3. What do you get when you cross a possum with a detective? A marsupial investigator.
4. Why did the possum start a bakery? It heard they were great at playing dead-rolls.
5. What’s a possum’s favorite holiday? Halloween, of course.
6. How does a possum win a race? By playing opossum.
7. What do you call a possum who loves to knit? A marsupial seamstress.
8. Why did the possum go to the doctor? It was feeling a little run-down.
9. What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Anything with a dead-icated beat.
10. How does a possum take its coffee? With a little bit of play-dead-ium.

The Ultimate List of Side-Splitting Possum Jokes

1. Why did the possum bring a suitcase to the party? It heard there was a lot of possumbiles.
2. How does a possum win an argument? By playing dead-seriously.
3. What’s a possum’s favorite kind of math? Possumetry.
4. Why did the possum bring a map to the bar? In case it got lost in the dead of night.
5. What do you get when you cross a possum with a magician? A disappearing act like no other.
6. How does a possum stay in shape? By playing deadlifts.
7. What’s a possum’s favorite sport? Playing deadminton.
8. Why did the possum go to the movie theater? To see Dead-pool.
9. What’s a possum’s favorite book? Tale of Two Possums.
10. How does a possum send a letter? By playing dead-livery.

Why Did the Possum Cross the Road? Funny Jokes You Need to Hear

1. Why did the possum cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken.
2. What do you get when you cross a possum with a chicken? A marsupial that can cross the road with ease.
3. Why did the possum run across the road? To get to the other side… and play dead.
4. What’s a possum’s favorite part of crossing the road? The adrenaline rush of narrowly avoiding cars.
5. How does a possum safely cross the road? By making sure it’s well-practiced in playing dead.
6. Why was the possum late to cross the road? It got stuck on the shoulder thinking about playing dead.
7. What did the possum say to the other side of the road? “I’ll be there in a possum of seconds.”
8. How do possums ensure a safe crossing? They look both ways and then play dead just in case.
9. Why did the chicken cross the road with a possum? To have a partner in crime for playing dead in dangerous situations.
10. What do you call a possum who excels at crossing roads? A pavement possum.