In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best drug jokes, drug puns and drug dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Laugh It Up: Hilarious Drug Jokes that Will Leave You in Stitches
1. Why did the stoner sit on the clock? He wanted to be on high time.
2. How do you know if a chemist is funny? They have good chemistry!
3. What do you call a pharmacy run by a band? A “drugstore.”
4. Why did the marijuana go to the party alone? It couldn’t find a good joint to bring.
5. What do you call a drug dealer on a diet? A pusher with a smaller portions.
6. Why did the grape stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
7. Why did the lettuce go to the party with the prune? Because it couldn’t find a date.
8. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
9. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
10. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
2. Getting a Dose of Humor: The Funniest Drug Jokes to Lighten the Mood
1. How do you make sure your drugs are safely stored? Lock them in the medicine cabinet.
2. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus!
3. What do you call a cold cat? A frostitute!
4. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
7. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans.
8. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
9. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
10. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
3. High on Laughter: Top Drug Jokes for a Good Time
1. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly.
2. How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints.
3. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
4. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
5. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry.
6. Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up a pair of pants!
7. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because they’re always spotted.
8. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
9. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
10. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
4. Prescription for Laughs: The Best Drug Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. How do you throw a space party? You planet.
2. What did the janitor yell after he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
4. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
5. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
7. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
8. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
9. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? Put it on my bill.
10. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
5. Rolling on the Floor Laughing: Must-Hear Drug Jokes for Comedy Fans
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
3. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
4. Why did the physicist break up with the biologist? There was no chemistry.
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.
6. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
7. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
8. What’s a tree’s favorite dating app? Timber.
9. Why did the gymnast bring string to the bar? In case she needed to tie one on.
10. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.