In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best wine jokes, wine puns and wine dad jokes to make you laugh.
Uncorking the Laughs: The Top Wine Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle
1. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
2. How do you organize a wine party? You just grape everyone together!
3. Why did the wine refuse to fight? Because it didn’t want to start a Merlot!
4. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear…or someone who’s had too much red wine!
5. How do you know if a bartender is a wine expert? They can open a bottle without getting corked!
6. What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
7. Why was the grape so bad at playing baseball? Because it couldn’t handle the wine drive!
8. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese…but it goes great with a glass of wine!
9. What’s a wine’s favorite type of music? Riesling and blues!
10. Why do wine lovers make terrible tennis players? Because they’re always too busy serving!
Pouring on the Humor: Hilarious Wine Jokes to Share at Your Next Wine Tasting
1. Why did the grape break up with the Raisin? It was tired of all the dried out jokes!
2. How does a wine lover flirt? They make a smooth Pinot Noir move!
3. What’s a pirate’s favorite wine? Arrrr-gentinian Malbec!
4. How do you make an octopus laugh? Give it ten tickles…and a glass of Chardonnay!
5. Why did the wine rack get a promotion? It was outstanding in its field!
6. What do you call a wine that can sing? Merlot Jackson!
7. How do you make a wine glass disappear? Ask it to “Pinot Noir!”
8. Why don’t oysters share their wine? Because they’re shell-fish!
9. What do you call a bear that’s been drinking wine? A Pinot-Grrr!
10. Why did the grape go out with the fig? It couldn’t find a date!
Sipping on Laughter: The Funniest Wine Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why did the grape turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
2. What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
3. Why did the wine glass go to the party alone? It wanted to be a “solo-cup”!
4. How do you identify a Motown wine? It’s just a grape of wrath!
5. Why did the grape sit on the chandelier? Because it wanted to be a little “raisin’ the bar”!
6. What kind of movies do grapes like? Comedies…they love a good punch wine!
7. How do you say cheers in French? “Wine-dow”!
8. What’s a wine’s favorite clothing item? A grape dress!
9. Why did the wine file a lawsuit? It had been “stem-ed” from having too much fun!
10. What do you call a sad bottle of wine? A sobbernet sauvignon!
From Grape to Giggle: The Best Wine Jokes for Wine Lovers Everywhere
1. Why don’t grapes ever play hide and seek? Because they’re always getting crushed!
2. How do you make a wine disappear? Delete “Pinot Noir” from your vocabulary!
3. Why did the grape refuse to be crushed? It didn’t want to be a “wine-oh”!
4. What’s a wine’s least favorite superhero? Captain Crush!
5. Why did the wine bottle go to therapy? It had too many issues to cork!
6. How do grapes greet each other? They just “wine” at each other from across the vineyard!
7. What do you call a bear that’s been drinking too much wine? A Cab-bear-net!
8. Why did the wine glass go to school? It wanted to get a little “sauvignon blanc”!
9. Why did the wine bottle go to the party alone? It didn’t want to be “decant-erminated”!
10. What’s a wine’s favorite pickup line? “Are you made of grapes? Because you’re crushing it!”
Raising a Glass to Comedy: Enjoy These Side-Splitting Wine Jokes with Your Favorite Glass of Wine
1. What’s a wine’s favorite flower? A “Rose”!
2. Why did the wine bottle go to the beach? It heard the tide was high and wanted to catch a “wine wave”!
3. How do you keep a wine glass from falling off the table? You make sure it’s well-balanced!
4. Why did the wine glass get invited to the exclusive party? It had the perfect blend of personality!
5. What’s a wine’s favorite activity on a rainy day? Pouring itself another glass!
6. How does a wine bottle make puns? It has a dry sense of humor!
7. Why did the wine bottle go bungee jumping? It wanted to experience a real “plunge”!
8. What’s a wine’s favorite board game? Corks and Ladders!
9. Why did the wine bottle refuse to share its secrets? It didn’t want to “spill the wine”!
10. How does a wine bottle get in shape? It does grape squats!