In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best weed jokes, weed puns and weed dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. 420 Hilarious Weed Jokes to Light Up Your Day
1. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
2. How do you know if someone is a vegan and smokes weed? They’ll tell you within the first 5 minutes of meeting them.
3. Why did the weed go to school? To get a little higher education.
4. What do you call a group of stoners stuck in a hot air balloon? High on hot air.
5. What did the marijuana plant say to the bicycle? “I’m stoned.”
6. Why did the pothead plant Cheerios in the backyard? He thought they were doughnut seeds.
7. What do you call an alligator in a vest made of marijuana? An investigator.
8. How do you know if someone has smoked too much weed? They’ve lost interest in whether or not they’ve smoked too much weed.
9. Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
10. How do you know if someone is high on marijuana? They’ll forget where they put their lighter.
2. Laugh Out Loud with These Side-Splitting Pot Jokes
1. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
4. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.
5. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
6. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
7. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
8. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
9. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
10. Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties? Because they’re fungi to be with.
3. Roll Up and Enjoy the Top Cannabis Comedy Jokes
1. Why did the weed break up with the vaporizer? It felt like it was getting too much hot air.
2. How do you get a baby to stop crying? Give it some weed…just kidding, give it a bottle.
3. Why don’t stoners play hide and seek? Good luck finding them after they’ve found a spot to hide.
4. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
5. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
6. Why can’t bicycles stand up on their own? They’re two tired.
7. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because it couldn’t find a date.
8. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
9. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.
10. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
4. Get High on Laughter with These Weed-Infused Jokes
1. Why did the stoner sit on the clock? He wanted to be on high time.
2. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
3. Why did the stoner bike? It was two tired to walk.
4. Why did the stoner put his phone in the blender? Because he wanted to make a high-tech smoothie.
5. Why did the stoner get locked out of the car? It was a highjacked situation.
6. Why did the weed go to the bank? To get some joint savings.
7. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
8. What did one mountain say to the other mountain? “Hi, Cliff!”
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
10. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
5. From Puff Puff Pass to Reefer Madness: The Ultimate Collection of Weed Jokes
1. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no-body to go with him.
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
3. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
4. Why did the crab never share? Because he was a little shellfish.
5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
6. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
7. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
8. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt-quacks.
9. Why do bananas use sunscreen? Because they peel.
10. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.