In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best war jokes, war puns and war dad jokes to make you laugh.
The Top 10 Laugh-Out-Loud War Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why did the soldier break up with his girlfriend? He found out she was seeing other men-talities.
2. How does a soldier greet his friend on the battlefield? With a high rank salutation.
3. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
4. Why do soldiers make terrible comedians? They rely too heavily on their punchlines.
5. What did the sergeant say to the sleeping soldier? You’re on the frontline of naptime.
6. Why was the math book sad during the war? It couldn’t count on anyone.
7. How does a soldier stop a bull from charging? He takes away its credit card.
8. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An in-vest-i-gator.
9. Why did the comedian get kicked out of the army? He couldn’t get the troops to laugh.
10. What do you call a sleeping spy? A snoozer operator.
Hilarious Historical Battle Jokes That Are Too Funny to Miss
1. Why did the British army wear red coats? So they could hide the ketchup stains.
2. How did the Ancient Romans cut their hair? With pair-ie swords.
3. Why did the Vikings sail for miles on an empty stomach? They were berserk-ing hungry.
4. What did the knight say when his armor was stolen? Oh, what a knight-mare.
5. Why did the English army use charged cannons? They wanted to give it their best shot.
6. What do you call a fight between two knights using fruit? A medieval meloncollie.
7. Why couldn’t the minstrel find his way to battle? He had treble reading the map.
8. What did the pirate say on his birthday? Aye, matey party tonight!
9. How do soldiers ensure they always win at poker? They bring a deck of cards to battle.
10. Why did the cavalry officer get demoted? He couldn’t get his horse in gear.
Laughing Through Combat: The Most Side-Splitting War Jokes
1. Why did the general bring a ladder to the battlefield? He wanted to raise the stakes.
2. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
3. What do you call a stand-up comedy show in a tank? War and laughter.
4. Why did the soldier bring a pencil to the war? In case he needed to draw his weapon.
5. What did the private say to the colonel during the funny skit? Sir, that was a joke well done.
6. How do you make a flower bouquet laugh? You tickle its petals.
7. Why do soldiers make for bad movie actors? They always camouflage their emotions.
8. What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran.
9. Why did the tank break up with the battleship? It couldn’t handle the long distance relationship.
10. How do you make a warship laugh? Tell it a buoy joke.
Lighten the Mood with These Rib-Tickling Military Jokes
1. Why did the soldier carry a doormat during combat? To wipe out the enemy’s feet.
2. What do you call a military officer who’s also a magician? A combat magician.
3. Why do soldiers make great comedians? They always have bullets-proof material.
4. How do soldiers cheer themselves up during tough times? They laugh at the grenade jokes.
5. What did the commando say to his sleeping bag? Rest in peace.
6. Why did the drill sergeant go to therapy? He had major issues.
7. What do you call a military hat that tells jokes? A cap-tain of humor.
8. Why did the pilot tell his airplane to go home? It was a wing-and-a-prayer situation.
9. How do soldiers stay warm during winter warfare? With combat blankets and pun jokes.
10. What do you call a bomb that tells jokes? A comedian-grenade.
From Trench Warfare to Tank Comedy: The Funniest War Jokes Ever Made
1. Why did the soldier wear camouflage pants to the comedy club? He wanted to blend in with the audience.
2. How does a tank get invited to parties? It always brings the can-naon.
3. What do you call a soldier who survived the pancake bomb? A flapper-jack.
4. Why did the missile break up with the torpedo? It didn’t want to torpedo the relationship.
5. What do you call a soldier who gets promoted for telling jokes? A pun-ishment.
6. Why do soldiers love reading joke books before battle? They want to be armed with humor.
7. How does a bomber prepare for a marathon run? By dropping out of the sky.
8. What did the mortar say to the land mine during the funny pun contest? You are dynamite.
9. Why did the sentry get kicked out of the stand-up comedy club? He was on guard for bad jokes.
10. Why did the airplane join the comedy troupe? It wanted to land the best jokes.