In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best vodka jokes, vodka puns and vodka dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Stirring up Laughter: The Funniest Vodka Jokes
1. Why did the vodka go to therapy? It had too many mixed emotions.
2. How does vodka keep track of time? With a Gin and Tonic.
3. What did the bartender say to the vodka? “You’re quite distilled.”
4. Why did the vodka break up with the whiskey? They had too many shots together.
5. What do you call someone who refuses to share their vodka? Self-ish.
6. Why was the vodka always invited to parties? It was the life of the cocktail.
7. How do you make a vodka martini laugh? Tickling it with an olive.
8. What’s a vodka’s favorite dance move? The shotsky.
9. What did the grape say when it got crushed in the vodka-making process? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
10. Why did the vodka go to school? It wanted to become a straight-A spirit.
2. Shaken, Not Stirred: Hilarious Vodka Jokes to Lighten the Mood
1. What do you call a ghost’s favorite vodka drink? Boos and tonic.
2. Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the vodka? It was blushing.
3. How do vampires like their vodka? Bloody Mary-style.
4. Why did the vodka go to the art museum? It heard they had great spirits.
5. What do you call a vodka with an attitude? So-cool.
6. What’s vodka’s favorite part about winter? The cold shoulder.
7. Why was the vodka not invited to the party? It had too much proof.
8. How does vodka get its exercise? By running on the rocks.
9. What did the bottle of vodka say to the ice? “Stay cool.”
10. Why did the bartender give the vodka a prize? It had a lot of spirit.
3. Getting a Shot of Humor: Top Vodka Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches
1. What’s vodka’s favorite book genre? Spirits.
2. Why did the vodka refuse to swim in the ocean? It didn’t want to be diluted.
3. How did the vodka propose to the gin? With a ring of olives.
4. What do you call a vodka that’s all dressed up? A cosmopolitan.
5. Why did the vodka call in sick? It was feeling a little under the weather.
6. How did the vodka become a pop star? It had great mixability.
7. What’s vodka’s favorite board game? Spirits of the past.
8. Why did the soda break up with the vodka? It couldn’t handle the fizz anymore.
9. What do you call a vodka at the North Pole? An ice breaker.
10. Why did the vodka cross the road? To get to the distillery on the other side.
4. From Russia with Love: Vodka Jokes That Will Have You Chuckling
1. Why did the vodka win the race? It was Russian to the finish line.
2. What do you get when you mix vodka and cold weather? A Polar Moscow Mule.
3. Why was the vodka always calm? It had a lot of Russian spirits.
4. How did the vodka become a comedian? It had great punchlines.
5. What do you call a Russian vodka on a boat? A sea-n-off.
6. Why did the vodka get angry at the ice? It kept giving it the cold shoulder.
7. How did the vodka celebrate Halloween? By dressing up as a ghost shot.
8. What’s vodka’s favorite winter sport? Vodski-ing.
9. Why did the vodka go to the gym? It wanted to work on its abs-olut.
10. How does vodka like to party? With a Russian twist.
5. Pouring on the Laughs: The Best Vodka Jokes That Will Make Your Day
1. What did the vodka say to the mule? “We make a great team!”
2. How did the vodka ask out the soda? “Let’s fizz together.”
3. Why did the vodka break up with the tequila? It couldn’t handle the strong shots.
4. What do you call a vodka that tells jokes? A hilarious spirits.
5. Why did the vodka get a job at the bakery? It was a great mixer.
6. How does vodka like to relax? On the rocks.
7. What’s a vodka’s favorite game show? Wheel of Misfortune.
8. Why did the pineapple refuse to be in the vodka cocktail? It didn’t want to be a pina colada.
9. What’s a vodka’s favorite movie genre? Suspense-thriller.
10. Why did the vodka get a speeding ticket? It was going over the proof limit.