In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best vision jokes, vision puns and vision dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Seeing is Believing: The Funniest Vision Jokes
1. Why did the blind man fall into the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
2. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. Now I’m seeing things more clearly.
3. Why did the optometrist always win at poker? Because he had a good eye for the cards.
4. I told my optometrist I needed glasses, and he said, “You’ll have to look into that.”
5. Why did the eyeball break up with the retina? They couldn’t see eye to eye.
6. I lost my glasses at the same time as my job. Now I can’t see past my unemployment.
7. I bought a pair of glasses from a prisoner. They were behind bars.
8. I was going to tell you a joke about my vision, but I couldn’t see the point.
9. Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into the lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself.
10. I’m short-sighted because my mom is short, and my dad is a glasses thief.
2. Can’t See Straight: Hilarious Vision Jokes That Will Have You in Tears
1. Why did the cyclops break up with his girlfriend? He couldn’t see a future together.
2. I have a genetic condition that makes me go blind whenever I see a mirror. It’s called “vanity.”
3. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
4. Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into the Alaskan river? He couldn’t see through the ice.
5. My optometrist says I have perfect vision. I see where he’s coming from.
6. What’s the most popular animal in the eye doctor’s office? The pupil.
7. I asked my optometrist for a second opinion. He said, “You’re ugly too.”
8. Why did the glasses wear sunglasses? They were glass eye.
9. I just got a job as an optometrist. It’s a real eye-opener.
10. Why did the eyeball refuse to fight in the war? It didn’t want to be a cornea.
3. 20/20 Hindsight: Laugh Out Loud Vision Jokes
1. Why did the optometrist give up on his music career? He couldn’t find his pitch.
2. I told my optometrist I wanted contacts. He said, “I’m tired of hearing your problems.”
3. Why did the vision therapist break up with her boyfriend? He couldn’t see a future together.
4. My glasses were cheap. Now I can see the bigger picture.
5. What’s invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts.
6. Why couldn’t the eye doctor play hide and seek? He kept losing his patients.
7. Why did the optometrist become a comedian? He had a real eye for humor.
8. I told my optometrist I needed contacts. He said, “I can see right through you.”
9. Why do eye doctors live long lives? They dilate.
10. Did you hear about the blind man who fell into the well? He couldn’t see that well.
4. Eye See What You Did There: Side-Splitting Vision Jokes
1. Why do optometrists always know where they’re going? They have a clear vision.
2. I once took a blindness test. Couldn’t see what the big deal was.
3. Why did the eyeball apply for a job at the police department? It wanted to be an eye witness.
4. I asked my optometrist if they could help me see the future. They said, “I don’t have 2020 vision.”
5. What did the blind man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch.
6. My eyes are so bad, I can’t even see the point.
7. What’s the difference between an optometrist and a teacher? The optometrist helps you see the board.
8. Why did the eyeball go to school? To get a little pupil.
9. Why was the optometrist always calm during emergencies? He had a great eye for danger.
10. I told my optometrist I needed glasses. He said, “You’re not approaching this with the right lens.”
5. Laugh Your Eyes Out: The Best Vision Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why couldn’t the optometrist handle an earthquake? He couldn’t keep things in focus.
2. I told my optometrist my eyesight was getting worse. He said, “You need to have a clearer vision.”
3. Why did the eyeball go on a date with the contact lens? They wanted to see each other more clearly.
4. I asked my optometrist if he could help me see the world differently. He gave me a globe.
5. What’s an optometrist’s favorite game? Eye Spy.
6. Why don’t eye doctors ever leave home without their glasses? They can’t see themselves going anywhere without them.
7. I told my optometrist I wanted Lasik surgery. He said, “I don’t think you can handle the pressure.”
8. Why do optometrists make terrible poker players? They always fold too early.
9. Why did the glasses go to the party? They heard they were frame-worthy.
10. I told my optometrist I was having trouble seeing the board in class. He said, “You might need to focus.”