In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best viking jokes, viking puns and viking dad jokes to make you laugh.
Raiding and Raining Funny: Hilarious Viking Jokes to Make You Laugh Like a Norse God
1. Why did the viking buy an old boat?
Because he wanted to sail the Norse seas and venture into the past.
2. How do Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code!
3. What do you call a viking with a sheep under each arm?
A farmer.
4. What did the viking say when he was asked how his new sword looked?
“It’s axe-ceptional!”
5. Why did the viking bring a ladder to the battle?
To help him reach the heights of Valhalla!
6. How do vikings communicate in the dark?
By using Norse whisper!
7. What did the viking say to the ice cube?
“You’re chilling me to Valhalla!”
8. Why did the viking become a plumber?
He heard there were sink-her ships to fix!
9. What’s a viking’s favorite movie genre?
Norse-chick flicks!
10. Why did the viking light a fire under his chair?
He heard it was the only way to become a hot-seat warrior.
Shield Maiden Shenanigans: Viking Jokes Fit for a Warrior
1. How do vikings stay in shape?
They take part in Norse-ercise!
2. Why did the shield maiden break up with her boyfriend?
He wasn’t her type – axe-tually, he was pretty axe-hausting!
3. What did the viking say to his shield before battle?
“Don’t let me down, we have a Thor-iffic reputation to uphold!”
4. What’s a shield maiden’s favorite dessert?
Viking ice cream – it’s berserker-good!
5. Why did the viking wear a helmet to bed?
To protect his Norse dreams!
6. What do you call a viking who tells jokes on the battlefield?
A pun-isher!
7. Why did the shield maiden bring a map to the battle?
She heard there was a treasure chest nearby!
8. How do vikings greet each other?
“Hey, what’s Norse-ew with you?”
9. What’s a viking’s favorite vegetable?
Leeks – they help ward off scurvy while raiding the seven seas!
10. Why did the shield maiden bring a broom to the battlefield?
To sweep the enemy off their feet!
Pillage and Puns: The Best Viking Jokes Guaranteed to Raise Your Spirits
1. Why do vikings make terrible DJs?
They’re always waving their axe around and yelling “Viking music only!”
2. How do Vikings know when they’re out of milk?
They check the pillage date!
3. What did the viking say when he lost his battle axe?
“I’ve been dis-armed!”
4. Why did the viking wear a horned helmet to battle?
He wanted to stay ahead of the curve!
5. What’s a viking’s favorite board game?
SWORD-opoly – it can get pretty axe-citing!
6. Why did the viking ask for a refund after buying a compass?
It didn’t Norse-ly point him in the right direction.
7. What did the viking say when he got a paper cut?
“Ow! That’s a rune injury!”
8. How do vikings keep their drinks cold?
By putting them in the fjord!
9. Why did the viking visit the dentist?
To get his Norse cavities filled!
10. Why did the viking bring a chicken to the battle?
He heard it was good for axe-tra support!
Battle Banter: Funny Viking Jokes to Conquer Your Funny Bone
1. Why do vikings always carry a towel during battle?
Because you wouldn’t want to be unprepared for a Norse cleansing.
2. What did the viking say when he bumped into his ex?
“Sorry, I didn’t see you behind that bearded axe!”
3. Why don’t vikings play hide and seek?
Good luck hiding when you have a helmet with horns on your head!
4. What did the viking say when he couldn’t find his battle axe?
“Looks like I axed it to the list of lost weapons!”
5. Why did the viking make his bed on the battlefield?
He wanted to sleep like a king amidst the chaos!
6. What’s a viking’s favorite type of music?
Norse-core!
7. Why did the viking bring a loaf of bread to the battle?
To make sure he had enough toast for victory celebrations!
8. How do vikings stay entertained during a long raid?
They play Shield-Station 4!
9. What do you call a viking who’s good with numbers?
A math-leader!
10. Why did the viking wear a belt to battle?
To keep his axe-citement in check!
Thor’s Thunderous Laughter: A Collection of Viking Jokes That Will Strike You With Humor
1. Why did Thor break up with his girlfriend?
She was always thundering about tiny things!
2. What did the viking say when his ship sank?
“Oh ship – that’s not Norse cool!”
3. Why did the viking go to school?
To become a scholar of Norse history!
4. What do Vikings use to send messages instantly?
Norse-telecom!
5. Why did the viking bring a snake to the battle?
To show he could handle a little hiss-teria!
6. Why did the viking use a calculator during battle?
To keep track of his Norse expenses!
7. What do you call a viking magician?
A sword-cerer!
8. Why did the viking go to the barber before battle?
To get a hair-cut above the rest!
9. What’s a viking’s favorite type of weather?
Axe-treme conditions!
10. Why did the viking bring a back-up shield to battle?
Just in case his primary defense Nordic-ed a break!