Top Vegas Jokes, Vegas Puns, Vegas Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best vegas jokes, vegas puns and vegas dad jokes to make you laugh.

The Top 10 Hilarious Vegas Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

1. Why did the man go to Las Vegas with a piece of cheese? He wanted to play roulette!
2. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless your credit card statement shows up.
3. I got kicked out of a casino in Vegas for being too good at poker. They said I had a chip on my shoulder.
4. Why don’t sharks like to gamble in Las Vegas? Because they can’t handle the stakes!
5. Did you hear about the magician who made his wallet disappear in Las Vegas? It was a classic case of misdirection.
6. How do you know you’re in a fancy Las Vegas casino? The slot machines have valet parking.
7. Why did the old lady bring a ladder to the slot machine? She heard she needed to reach the jackpot!
8. I asked a Las Vegas showgirl for her number, but she told me she doesn’t give out sequins.
9. What do you call a group of ghosts playing craps in Vegas? A skeleton crew.
10. What’s the best way to double your money in Vegas? Fold it in half and put it back in your pocket!

Laugh All Night with These Side-Splitting Las Vegas Comedy Jokes

1. Why did the dice start a band in Vegas? Because they knew how to roll!
2. I tried to tell a joke about gambling in Vegas, but it didn’t pay off.
3. How do you get a professional poker player to fold? Offer them a mirror.
4. What’s the difference between a Las Vegas wedding and a poker game? In Vegas, you can still bluff your way out of the marriage!
5. I heard Las Vegas is getting a zoo. It’s going to be called “The Strip”!
6. Why did the martini go broke in Vegas? It got shaken, not stirred.
7. How do you know it’s time to leave the poker table in Vegas? When the chips are down.
8. What do you call a group of Elvis impersonators at a Vegas buffet? The Jailhouse Rockers!
9. Why did the deck of cards go to therapy in Las Vegas? It was dealing with too many issues.
10. I went to a Las Vegas magic show and saw the magician pull a quarter out of my ear. Guess he wanted his tip!

Funny Vegas Jokes That Will Have You Rolling on the Casino Floor

1. Why did the gambler start wearing socks with sandals in Vegas? He heard it was a sure bet!
2. How do you make a small fortune in Las Vegas? Start with a large one.
3. Why did the burrito go all-in at the poker table? It had a lot of chipotle.
4. What’s a blackjack dealer’s favorite kind of shampoo? Head and Shoulders, because they’re always dealing with split ends!
5. I told my wife I was going to Las Vegas to become a professional gambler. She said, “Good luck with that.”
6. Why did the man bring a ladder to the blackjack table? He heard he needed to hit on 16.
7. How do you know you’re at a bad Las Vegas buffet? The all-you-can-eat sign is written in quotation marks.
8. What do you call a Las Vegas dentist? A dealer in tooth extraction.
9. Why did the man go to Vegas to see the world’s largest slot machine? He heard it was a real sight to behold.
10. I heard a Las Vegas comedian tell a joke about a deck of cards, but it fell flat. Guess he was dealing with a full deck!

Let’s Get Cheeky: The Best Sin City Jokes to Brighten Your Day

1. Why did the cowboy go to Vegas? He heard there were high stakes.
2. What’s a magician’s favorite game in Las Vegas? Hide and seek, with your money!
3. Why don’t they play hide and seek in Las Vegas casinos? Too many cheaters!
4. Why did the mobster bring a calculator to the poker game? He wanted to count his blessings.
5. I told my mom I lost my shirt in Las Vegas. She said, “At least you’re not naked!”
6. What’s a Las Vegas showgirl’s favorite animal? The cha-cha-cha-cheetah!
7. Why did the man bring a map to the Las Vegas strip club? He heard it was a maze of pleasure.
8. Why did the comedian become a blackjack dealer in Vegas? He heard the jokes at the table were aces!
9. What’s a Las Vegas blackjack dealer’s favorite type of music? 50 Cent – because he loves dealing with stacks of bills!
10. Why did the Elvis impersonator get kicked out of the buffet in Vegas? He kept hogging the bacon station!

Hit the Jackpot of Laughs with These Vegas Comedy Jokes

1. Why did the gambler buy a therapist’s book in Vegas? He wanted to learn how to deal with his bad bets.
2. What’s a slot machine’s favorite dance move? The cha-ching!
3. Why did the man bring a pillow to the poker game in Vegas? He heard there would be a full house.
4. How do you win at poker in Las Vegas? Play your cards right!
5. Why did the vampire go to Las Vegas? He heard there was a lot of stake at the blackjack tables.
6. I asked the bartender in Vegas for a strong drink. He handed me a deck of cards.
7. What do you call a Las Vegas magician who’s running out of tricks? A prestidigita-tormented.
8. Why did the man bring a snorkel to the Bellagio fountain show? He heard it was going to be a real splash!
9. How do you know you’re in a fancy Las Vegas hotel? The mint on your pillow is a poker chip.
10. I asked the Las Vegas comedian to tell a joke about the Strip, but he said it was too risqué!