In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best vampire jokes, vampire puns and vampire dad jokes to make you laugh.
Sink Your Teeth Into These Fangtastic Vampire Jokes!
1. Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? Because he had fang decay!
2. What do vampires take when they are sick? Coffin drops!
3. How does a vampire flirt? He bats his eyes.
4. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
5. Why was the vampire always up-to-date with the latest news? He read the daily “blood”letin.
6. What type of coffee do vampires drink? De-coffin-ated.
7. Why did the vampire subscribe to the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
8. How do you stop a vampire from biting his nails? Give him a manicure.
9. What did the vampire say after reading the bar menu? I’ll have a Bloody Mary, please.
10. How do you make a vampire laugh? Tell him a steak joke.
Count Dracula Approved: Hilarious Vampire Puns to Make You Howl with Laughter
1. Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? Because he couldn’t stomach steak anymore!
2. How does Dracula like his steak cooked? Bloody rare.
3. What did Dracula say to his date? You make my heart skip a beat…literally.
4. Why did Dracula become a banker? He loved making blood deposits.
5. What do you call a vampire who loves candy? A sugar ghoul.
6. How does Dracula learn new things? He reads the crypt-notes.
7. Why did the vampire always carry a key? To open a vein entrance.
8. How does Dracula stay in shape? He goes to bat camp.
9. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
10. Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t handle his bat behavior.
Bloody Funny: The Top Vampire Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. Why was the vampire always calm? He practiced coffin pose.
2. How did the Vampire King invite his friends over for dinner? He sent a bat signal.
3. Why did the vampire switch to online shopping? He couldn’t stand the site of a necktie.
4. What did the vampire bring to the Halloween party? A coffin-plate.
5. Why did the vampire refuse to eat fast food? He preferred a bite to eat.
6. How do vampires keep their breath fresh? They use fang paste.
7. What kind of boat does a vampire have? A blood vessel.
8. Why did the vampire visit the doctor? He was coffin’ a lot.
9. What did the vampire take when he was feeling sick? Coffin drops.
10. Why did the vampire get married? He wanted a bloody good relationship.
Vampire Humor at Its Finest: Laugh Out Loud with These Fang-tastic Jokes
1. Why was the vampire always out of money? He kept getting fleeced.
2. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern.
3. What do you give a seasick vampire? Bloody Marys.
4. Why is it difficult to keep a secret from a vampire? They always want to share a bite.
5. How does a vampire like his coffee? Decoffinated.
6. Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank? He was caught drinking on the job.
7. Where do vampires keep their savings? In a blood bank.
8. Why did the vampire get braces? So he could have a bite without hurting anyone.
9. How does a vampire describe his childhood? Batty.
10. What kind of dog does a vampire have? A bloodhound.
Fangs for the Laughs: Unveiling the Best Vampire Jokes That Will Have You Biting with Laughter
1. Why did the vampire read the Bible? He wanted to find out how the story ends.
2. How did the vampire celebrate his birthday? With a stake cake.
3. Why did the vampire turn down a date? He didn’t want to get garlic breath.
4. What do you call a vampire who is good with math? Count Calcula.
5. How do you get a vampire’s attention? Wave a wooden stake.
6. Why did the vampire go to art class? To learn how to draw blood.
7. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
8. How does a vampire like his eggs? In a crypt-let.
9. Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He thought he’d meet his type there.
10. What kind of socks do vampires wear? Ones with bat-terflies.