In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best twilight jokes, twilight puns and twilight dad jokes to make you laugh.
Sink your fangs into these hilarious Twilight jokes!
1. Why did Edward Cullen never get a credit card? Because he always maxed out on his bites!
2. How does Bella Swan stay in such good shape? She runs from all her problems!
3. What do you call a vampire who can’t dance? The Transylvania shuffle!
4. Why did the werewolf go to college? To become a little more hairy-tageous!
5. What’s Edward Cullen’s favorite kind of weather? Bloodthirsty!
6. Why did Bella Swan break up with the vampire? He was always too clingy!
7. How do you get a vampire baby to sleep? You tuck them in nicely with a silver blanket!
8. Why did the Cullen family open a bakery? Because they always knead the dough!
9. Why did Edward Cullen stay in school forever? He couldn’t bear to leave his high school sweetheart!
10. What do you call a vampire who’s always busy? A count-on-the-go!
Turning up the laughter: Funny jokes about Bella, Edward, and the Cullen family
1. Why did Edward Cullen go to therapy? He had too many issues bottled up inside!
2. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Blood oranges!
3. Why did Bella Swan bring a ladder to the Twilight screening? She heard it was a vampire flick!
4. How does Edward Cullen like his steaks cooked? Rare, just like his relationships!
5. Why did Alice Cullen start a fashion blog? Because she saw it in her future!
6. What’s Jacob’s favorite game to play with the Cullen family? Hide and seek, because he always has to find them in wolf form!
7. Why was Edward Cullen always the best student? Because he never skipped a night class!
8. What kind of car does Bella Swan drive? A Volvo, because it’s the only thing that can keep up with her speed!
9. Why did Edward Cullen stop playing baseball? He kept hitting too many foul balls!
10. How does Bella Swan keep it together in stressful situations? She always has a vampiric coolness about her!
Howling with laughter: Werewolf-themed Twilight jokes that will make you howl
1. What’s a werewolf’s favorite type of bean? Human beans!
2. Why did Jacob refuse to dance with wolves? He didn’t want to tango with his competition!
3. How does a werewolf sign off on a message? With a hairy paw-print!
4. Why did the werewolf bring a hairbrush to the party? He heard it was a full moon, and he wanted to look his best!
5. How does a werewolf feel after a long day of hunting? Dog-tired!
6. Why did the werewolf bring a map to the Twilight forest? He didn’t want to get lost in the howlways!
7. What do you call a werewolf who loves spicy food? A chili con-carnivore!
8. Why did Jacob attend obedience school? He wanted to be a standout in the wolf pack!
9. How did the werewolf become a successful musician? He had a hit single called “Howling at the Moon”!
10. Why did the werewolf join the gym? To pump up his biceps for better hair-raising moments!
A stake through the heart: Vampire jokes that are sure to suck the humor out of you
1. Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank? He couldn’t stop making withdrawals!
2. What did the vampire serve at his dinner party? Neck-tarines!
3. Why did the vampire refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he was always dealing with blood suckers!
4. How does a vampire like their coffee? De-coffin-ated!
5. What did the vampire say to his dentist? Count me in for a tooth extraction!
6. Why did the vampire always carry an umbrella? He wanted to avoid the sun’s glare on his pale skin!
7. How does a vampire get around town? Batmobile, of course!
8. Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? She told him he was a pain in the neck!
9. What’s a vampire’s favorite song? “Bite Me Baby One More Time”!
10. Why did the vampire enroll in cooking classes? He wanted to learn how to make a rare stake!
Sparkling with laughter: Twilight jokes that will leave you in stitches
1. What do you call a vampire who loves to clean? A mop and glow!
2. How does Edward Cullen keep his complexion flawless? He always uses a bit of highlighter!
3. Why did the Cullen family start a band? Because they wanted to rock out with their fangs out!
4. What’s a vampire’s favorite candy bar? A bite-sized Snickers!
5. How does Bella Swan take her coffee? With a splash of blood cream!
6. Why did the vampire go to the doctor? He had a coffin-cold!
7. What do you call a vampire who’s a skilled painter? A Van Gogh-st!
8. How does a vampire throw a party? They always make sure it’s a bloody good time!
9. Why did Jacob pack a lunch for the full moon? He wanted to have wolf snacks on the go!
10. What do you call a vampire who’s a good listener? A vein-drain!