Top Track Jokes, Track Puns, Track Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best track jokes, track puns and track dad jokes to make you laugh.

1. Running on Empty: Hilarious Track Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches

1. Why did the track coach carry a ladder to practice? He heard the runners needed extra support.
2. What do you call a race between two snails? A slow-motion sprint.
3. Why do track athletes never listen to music while running? They prefer the sound of their own feet.
4. How does a track athlete pay for their coffee? With a fastbucks card.
5. Why don’t track athletes ever date each other? They’re always running away from commitment.
6. What did the sprinter say to the starting line? “Are you ready to race?”
7. Why did the long-distance runner bring a spoon to the track meet? In case he got tired and wanted to take a “rest.”
8. Why was the track meet so loud? The runners kept making a racket.
9. What do you call a race between two apples? A fruit relay.
10. What did the track athlete say to the rubber track? “I’m tired of running in circles!”

2. Laugh Your Way to the Finish Line: The Funniest Track Jokes of All Time

1. Why did the track athlete go to the bank? To get his running account in shape.
2. How do track athletes stay cool during a race? They always stay in the shade of the finish line.
3. Why do track athletes make terrible bankers? They always come up short.
4. Why don’t track athletes ever win at hide and seek? Because good runners are always found.
5. What did the track coach say to the runner who lost his shoes? “You’re running out of time.”
6. How do you know if a track athlete has been using Twitter? Their feed is always full of fast tweets.
7. Why did the track athlete refuse to eat the pancakes at breakfast? He didn’t want to carb-load.
8. What did the track athlete say to the zombie chasing him? “You’ll never catch me, I’m a dead sprinter.”
9. What do you call a race between two shoes? A sole train.
10. Why did the track athlete break up with their smartphone? It couldn’t keep up with all their running apps.

3. Sprinting to the Punchline: Track Jokes That Will Make You Run with Laughter

1. Why did the track coach bring string to practice? To tie up any loose ends.
2. How do you unlock a track athlete’s car? With a fast key.
3. Why do track athletes make terrible chefs? They always burn out too quickly.
4. Why was the track athlete so good at storytelling? They knew how to pace themselves.
5. What did the track athlete say to their tired shoes? “You need to pick up the pace!”
6. Why don’t track athletes ever make smoothies? They prefer their fruits in relay form.
7. What did the track coach say to the runner who tripped during the race? “You need to get back on track!”
8. Why did the track athlete bring a pencil to practice? To take quick notes on their speed.
9. What do you call a race between two pencils? A graphite relay.
10. Why did the track athlete decide to become a comedian? They had a talent for running jokes.

4. Pole Vaulting Over Portrayals: Funny Track Jokes That Will Have You Jumping for Joy

1. Why did the pole vaulter bring a map to the competition? To make sure they cleared all obstacles.
2. How do pole vaulters keep track of time? They always have a high jump watch.
3. Why did the pole vaulter carry a suitcase to practice? To make sure they had their jump in the bag.
4. What did the pole vaulter say to the bar? “You set the standards too high.”
5. Why don’t pole vaulters ever go skydiving? They’re already experts at reaching new heights.
6. What did the pole vaulter say to the crossbar before the jump? “Get ready to raise the bar.”
7. Why did the pole vaulter refuse to eat dessert? They were already full of jumps.
8. What do you call a race between two video game consoles? A joystick relay.
9. Why did the pole vaulter bring a parachute to practice? In case they needed a soft landing.
10. What did the pole vaulter say to the wall? “I’ll vault over you in a flash!”

5. Racing to the Top: The Best Track Jokes That Will Leave You Breathless with Laughter

1. Why did the track athlete bring a magnifying glass to the meet? To get a closer look at the competition.
2. How do track athletes deal with stress? They just run it off.
3. Why did the long-distance runner wear a cape during the race? To show they were a running superhero.
4. What did the track coach say to the runner who couldn’t find their shoes? “You’re not on the right track.”
5. Why do track athletes make terrible detectives? They always take the fastest route.
6. What did the track athlete say to the treadmill? “You can’t keep up with me!”
7. Why don’t track athletes ever play hide and seek? They always sprint to the finish line.
8. What do you call a race between two socks? A foot relay.
9. Why did the track athlete refuse to eat the sandwich at lunch? It was too slow-carb heavy.
10. What did the track athlete say to the traffic light? “I’ll beat you to the next mile marker!”