In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best time jokes, time puns and time dad jokes to make you laugh.
Tick-Tock, Time for a Laugh: The Funniest Time Jokes
1. Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It tocked too much.
2. I asked my friend what he was doing tonight, and he said he was killing time. I didn’t realize it was that serious.
3. Why was the clock in love? It needed a minute to hand.
4. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
5. Did you hear about the time traveler who won the lottery? He took a chance by going back in time.
6. What do you call a clock that’s always hungry? Second hand.
7. The problem with time flies is that they come back to bite you.
8. I used to be addicted to time travel, but that’s all in the past now.
9. Do you know why the scarecrow won an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of time.
10. What do you call a cold clock? Chilly hours.
Time Flies When You’re Laughing: Hilarious Clock Jokes
1. Did you hear about the wall clock that went to therapy? It had too many ticks.
2. I bought a new watch that’s waterproof and shockproof. It’s about time!
3. Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It couldn’t handle the dates.
4. What’s a clock’s favorite key on the keyboard? The “second” button.
5. Why did the man bring a ladder with him to the bar? So he could have high time.
6. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together one tick at a time.
7. What kind of sports car is a favorite among clocks? The Grandfather clock.
8. How does a physicist organize their day? By spacetime-ing their tasks.
9. What’s a watch’s favorite song? “Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae).”
10. Why did the wristwatch go to school? To get a second hand education.
Don’t Watch Funny Shows at Midnight – You Might Laugh Your Socks Off: Time-related Humor
1. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
2. What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
4. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.
5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
6. What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta.
7. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
8. Want to hear a construction joke? Oh, sorry, I’m still working on that one.
9. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
10. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together one tick at a time.
Time Traveler? More Like Time Joke-teller: Side-splitting Time Travel Jokes
1. Why did the time traveler break up with his clock? It went back too many seconds.
2. Time traveling is just like visiting Paris; you can’t just experience one second.
3. What did the time traveler do when he was still hungry? He went back four seconds.
4. What did the time traveler with a stutter do? He made second first.
5. Time travelers are never late. They always arrive before they left.
6. Why did the time traveler get kicked out of the library? He kept going back into the history section.
7. Did you hear about the time traveler who didn’t know how to time travel? His future self led him in the right direction.
8. Do you know why time travelers bring pepper to the past? It’s for when they change the timeline and need a little salt in the wound.
9. What did the time traveler say to his past self? “I know what you did next summer.”
10. Time travelers never die, they just stop being matter.