Top Ticket Jokes, Ticket Puns, Ticket Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best ticket jokes, ticket puns and ticket dad jokes to make you laugh.

Ticket to Laughter: Hilarious Jokes that Will Have You Rolling

1. Why did the ticket go to school? It wanted to become a smart ticket!
2. What did the ticket say to the rude passenger? “You’re getting thrown out of here!”
3. Why did the man bring a ladder to the ticket booth? Because he heard it was a high-priced ticket!
4. How do you make a ticket laugh? Tickling its stub!
5. Why did the ticket go to therapy? It had major issues with being ripped!
6. What did the ticket say to the popcorn? “Can I catch a flick with you?”
7. Why was the ticket afraid of the theater? It heard there was some bad drama!
8. What do you call a ticket that doesn’t want to go to the show? Stubborn!
9. Why did the ticket win an award? It had the best performance in the box office!
10. What did the ticket say to the usher? “Keep tearing me apart, it’s like therapy!”

All Aboard the Funny Train: Ticket Jokes to Brighten Your Day

1. Why was the ticket running late? It missed the train!
2. How do you catch a runaway ticket? With a ticket trap!
3. Why did the ticket refuse to go to the concert? It was afraid of getting scalped!
4. What did the ticket say to the concession stand? “I’ve got you covered!”
5. Why did the ticket go to the comedy club? It wanted to learn some ticket jokes!
6. How do you make a ticket smile? Buy it a VIP package!
7. Why did the ticket get in trouble with the law? It got caught scalping itself!
8. What do you call a group of tickets at a movie premiere? A stub-tastic sight!
9. Why did the ticket go to the gym? It wanted to exercise its ticket muscles!
10. What did the ticket say to the parking lot? “I’ve got a hot date with a car!”

Ticket to Comic Relief: The Funniest Jokes About Tickets

1. Why was the ticket feeling down? It had a perforated ego!
2. What did the ticket say to the door? “Open sesame!”
3. Why did the ticket get a job at the theater? It wanted to be a ticket master!
4. How did the ticket get a black eye? It got punched at the door!
5. Why did the ticket break up with the coupon? It was tired of being ripped off!
6. What do you call a ticket with a sense of humor? A funny stub!
7. Why did the ticket become a comedian? It loved playing the punchline!
8. How do you know if a ticket is lying? Its pants are on fire!
9. Why was the ticket afraid of the ticket inspector? It had a fear of being punched!
10. What did the ticket say to the concert? “I’ve got a front-row seat to the show!”

Laugh Your Way to the Show: Ticket Jokes Guaranteed to Amuse

1. Why did the ticket skip school? It wanted to go to the matinee performance!
2. What did the ticket say to the usher? “Keep it stuble!”
3. Why did the ticket break up with the theater? It was tired of the drama!
4. How do you make a ticket cry? Show it a romantic comedy!
5. Why did the ticket get lost? It took a wrong turn at the box office!
6. What do you call a ticket with a broken heart? A tear-jerker!
7. Why was the ticket late to the party? It got stuck in the VIP line!
8. How do you make a ticket blush? Tell it a joke about being torn!
9. Why did the ticket file a complaint? It wanted to speak to the ticket manager!
10. What did the ticket say to the show? “I’ve got a ticket to paradise!”

The Best Seat in the House: Ticket Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches

1. Why did the ticket refuse to sit in the front row? It was afraid of getting stage fright!
2. What did the ticket say to the concert? “I’m with the band!”
3. Why was the ticket so happy? It had the best view in the house!
4. How do you make a ticket jealous? Show it a sold-out show!
5. Why did the ticket fall asleep during the play? It was bored to tears!
6. What do you call a ticket that never expires? Timeless!
7. Why did the ticket go to the magic show? It wanted to disappear!
8. How do you know if a ticket is fake? It doesn’t have a sense of humor!
9. Why did the ticket get a standing ovation? It was a tear-jerking performance!
10. What did the ticket say to the venue? “I’ll be back for an encore performance!”