In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best split jokes, split puns and split dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious Split Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
2. I told a pear a joke that split it in half. Now it’s a pair of pear halves.
3. How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste!
4. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
5. I heard a joke about a jump rope, but it was too twisted for me to follow.
6. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
7. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
9. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands like everyone else.
10. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose (lack toes).
2. Splitting Your Sides with Laughter: The Top Split Jokes of All Time
1. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus!
4. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
5. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
6. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
8. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it’s tough to find good players.
9. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
10. I’m thinking about removing my spine. It’s only holding me back.
3. Double the Fun: Funny Split Jokes to Make You Laugh
1. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
4. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
5. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
6. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
7. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
8. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
9. I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything in moderation.
10. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
4. So Funny It Hurts: The Best Splitting Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Giggle
1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
3. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it’s tough to find good players.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
5. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
6. What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream.
7. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
8. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
9. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
10. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
5. Splitting Up the Laughs: Side-Splitting Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
4. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
5. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
6. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
7. I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
9. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.