In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best speed jokes, speed puns and speed dad jokes to make you laugh.
Zooming in with these hilarious speed jokes
1. Why did the speeding ticket get angry? Because it lost its license!
2. What do you get when you cross a speeding train with a joke? Fast track comedy!
3. How do you catch a squirrel that’s running at top speed? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
4. Why did the fast food restaurant hire a race car driver? To make their drive-thru faster!
5. What’s a race car’s favorite type of fish? Fast food!
6. I told a speed bump a joke, but it went over their head because they’re always in a rush!
7. Why did the fast runner refuse to slow down? He didn’t want to lose by a split second!
8. How do race cars stay cool during a race? They have fans everywhere they go!
9. Why was the speeding ticket so popular at parties? Because it always got the party started!
10. What do you call a fast turtle? A ninja turtle on espresso!
Lightning-fast laughs: The top speed jokes to make you chuckle
1. Why did the scarecrow win the race? Because it was outstanding in its field!
2. What do you call a speedy turtle? Turbo!
3. How do you know if your car is a time traveler? It keeps going back four seconds!
4. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
5. What do you call a fast potato? A spee-dough!
6. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
7. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
8. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
9. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems!
10. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Racing to the punchline: Funny jokes that will leave you in stitches
1. What do you call a group of killer whales playing music? An orca-stra!
2. Why did the crab never share? Because it was a little shellfish!
3. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
4. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
6. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
7. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
9. Why was the teacher cross-eyed? Because they couldn’t control their pupils!
10. What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper!
Need for speed? These jokes will have you rolling on the floor laughing
1. Who’s the fastest runner in the jungle? The zebra, because it’s always racing stripes!
2. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
3. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because it had no body to go with!
4. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
5. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
6. Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? Because he wanted to get a long little doggie!
7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
8. Why did the apple go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
9. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine!
10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Accelerate your sense of humor with these quick-witted jokes
1. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out!
2. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
3. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
4. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
5. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
6. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
8. Why was the math book upset? It had too many problems!
9. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
10. Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants!