In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best shopping jokes, shopping puns and shopping dad jokes to make you laugh.
Finding the Fun: Hilarious Shopping Jokes to Keep You Laughing in the Aisles
1. Why did the shop assistant bring a ladder to work? Because they heard the prices were sky-high!
2. I asked the cashier if they had anything to make my groceries lighter. They handed me a receipt.
3. Why did the tomato refuse to pay for its groceries? Because it was too fresh to be in debt!
4. What do you call a group of unorganized shoes? A disarray of heels!
5. I tried to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any in my size.
6. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
7. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
8. Why don’t teddy bears ever shop at the mall? Because they’re already stuffed!
9. I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Now I understand why they’re always up there.
10. I saw a sign that said “watch for children”. I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
The Price is (Not) Right: Funny Jokes About Shopping on a Budget
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
3. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
4. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
6. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way? Because it lost its bearings.
7. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why!
8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
9. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
10. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Shop ’til You Drop: Side-Splitting Jokes About Retail Therapy
1. Why did the belt get arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants!
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
4. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
5. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to hold it together.
6. Have you heard about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
7. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
8. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
9. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Size Matters: Laugh Out Loud Jokes About Shopping for Clothes
1. Why did the belt get promoted at work? It held everything together.
2. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
4. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why!
5. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
6. Have you heard about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
7. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
8. Why did the tomato refuse to pay for its groceries? Because it was too fresh to be in debt!
9. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
10. What do you call a group of unorganized shoes? A disarray of heels!
Checkout Chuckles: The Best Jokes About Standing in Line at the Store
1. I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Now I understand why they’re always up there.
2. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
3. Why did the tomato refuse to pay for its groceries? Because it was too fresh to be in debt!
4. Have you heard about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
6. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
7. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
8. I asked the cashier if they had anything to make my groceries lighter. They handed me a receipt.
9. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
10. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.