In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best ship jokes, ship puns and ship dad jokes to make you laugh.
Setting Sail with Laughter: The Top Ship Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
1. Why did the sailor go to school?
To improve his report card in boarding!
2. What did the ocean say to the ship?
Nothing, it just waved.
3. Why do pirates make terrible singers?
They can’t hit the high Cs.
4. How does a pirate greet each other?
With a handshake.
5. Why don’t ships like to play cards?
Because the captain is always standing on the deck.
6. What’s a pirate’s favorite restaurant?
Arrrrby’s.
7. Why did the ship go to therapy?
It had too many emotional anchors.
8. What did the ocean say to the sailboat?
Nothing, it just gave a little wave.
9. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
10. What’s a pirate’s favorite country?
Arrrrgentina!
Smooth Sailing: Hilarious Ship Jokes for All Ages
1. What did the sea say to the little boat?
Nothing, it just waved.
2. Why do ships carry bar codes?
So they can “scan-da-navy”
3. Why did the sailor break up with the mermaid?
She was too shellfish.
4. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school?
Arrrrt.
5. Why did the sailor start a car rental business?
He heard that the best ships are relationships!
6. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck.
7. How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
8. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You may think it’s “R,” but it’s really the “C” they love.
9. Why did the ship go to the doctor?
It had a bad case of the seas.
10. What do pirates do for fun?
They play golf off the plank!
Anchors Away: The Funniest Ship Jokes Captains can Toss Around
1. Why did the ship’s doctor become a comedian?
He had a great sense of ship humor.
2. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music?
Rhythm and Blues.
3. Why did the pirate take his parrot to the shop?
To get a little birdy-tuned!
4. How did the pirate become a boxing champion?
By punching above his weight.
5. Why do pirates like to play hide and seek?
Because good hiders make for great seakers!
6. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of socks?
ARRRGYLE.
7. Why did the pirate go to therapy?
He had too many emotional bottlenecks.
8. What’s a pirate’s favorite vegetable?
Leeks.
9. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
10. Why did the ship get a new mop?
Because the old one was getting a bit salty!
Paddle Your Funny Bone: Ship Jokes that Will Leave You in Stitches
1. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
2. How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
3. What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
5. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
6. Why did the man put his money in the blender?
He wanted to make liquid assets.
7. Have you heard about that restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.
8. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.
9. Why did the gym close down?
It just didn’t work out.
10. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
Aho-Ha-Ha!: Ship Jokes that Will Have You Rolling on Deck
1. Why do pirates carry a sword?
Because a parrot is too heavy!
2. What did the ocean say to the cruise ship?
Nothing, it just waved.
3. Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant?
To get some fish and ships.
4. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A beginner.
5. What did the ocean say to the sailboat?
Nothing, it just waved.
6. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were on the house.
7. How does a pirate create a smiley face?
By using an arrrrr emoji.
8. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
9. What is a pirate’s favorite type of socks?
Arrrgyle!
10. Why was the boat able to pass its test?
Because it had excellent “sea marks”!