In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best shakespeare jokes, shakespeare puns and shakespeare dad jokes to make you laugh.
The Ultimate Collection of Shakespearean Jokes: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
1. Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?
Because pencils were Hamlet-ed.
2. Why did Shakespeare only eat alphabet soup?
He wanted to know if he could find a play on words.
3. What’s Shakespeare’s favorite game?
Twelfth Night hide and seek.
4. What did Shakespeare say when he saw the dentist?
To floss or not to floss, that is the question.
5. Why did Shakespeare get kicked out of math class?
Because he kept saying, “To be or not to be, that is the fraction.”
6. How does Shakespeare navigate through the forest?
With Much Ado About Clue.
7. Why did Shakespeare become an interior decorator?
He had a Midsummer Night’s Dream of painting.
8. What did Shakespeare say when he was asked for his favorite snack?
O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Rice Krispies?
9. What’s Shakespeare’s favorite kind of dessert?
Sonnet pudding.
10. Why was Shakespeare always in debt?
Because he kept borrowing money from his “Merchant of Venice.”
Hilarious Shakespeare Puns That Will Have You Rolling on the Floor
1. What do you call a toothbrush that’s obsessed with Shakespeare?
A brush up on the Bard.
2. Why was Lady Macbeth always asking for a raise?
She wanted to be the Thane of a higher salary.
3. How does Shakespeare like his coffee?
To-triple or not to-triple.
4. What’s a Shakespearean ghost’s favorite party game?
Hide and shriek.
5. Why did Shakespeare write with birds on his shoulders?
Because he needed quill support.
6. Why did Shakespeare write in pen instead of pencil?
So he could make mistakes write the first time.
7. What did Shakespeare do when he got cold?
He turned on the Sonnets.
8. How does Shakespeare end his letters?
With lots of Hamlet.
9. Why did Shakespeare become a gardener?
Because he had a Midsummer Night’s Green thumb.
10. What do you call a fish who performs Shakespearean plays?
Much Ado About Herring.
Side-Splitting Shakespearean Insults that Are Too Funny to Handle
1. Thou art a boil, a plague sore.
2. Thine face is not worth sunburning.
3. You abilities are too infant-like for doing much alone.
4. You are as stupid as the fat weed that roots itself in ease on Lethe wharf.
5. Menny, like a picture out of a text-book.
6. Thou art essential fish to our dish.
7. Thou leathern-jerkin-crystal-button, not-pated, agatering-dish.
8. You have such a February face, so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness.
9. Thou art a foul and cursed hag!
10. You are as crooked as a barber’s wig.
Top 10 Shakespeare Jokes That Will Make Your Friends Jealous of Your Wit
1. What’s Shakespeare’s favorite video game?
Call of Duty: Macbeth Warfare.
2. Why did the Shakespearean actress break up with her boyfriend?
He couldn’t handle her drama.
3. What’s Shakespeare’s favorite type of jewelry?
Play-arrings.
4. Which Shakespearean play is set in a convenience store?
Two Gentlemen of 7-Eleven.
5. Why did Shakespeare only write with lowercase letters?
Because he couldn’t handle the caps lock.
6. What’s Juliet’s favorite fruit?
Romeo-melon.
7. How does Shakespeare say goodbye in a storm?
Parting is such sweet thunder.
8. Why was Othello always out of money?
He had too many I-owe-the-mo’s.
9. How does Hamlet like his sandwiches?
To be or not to be… a BLT.
10. What do you call a group of Shakespearean actors stuck in a depressed area?
The Gloom and Broom Society.
Laugh Out Loud with These Classic Shakespearean Comedy Jokes
1. Why did Shakespeare go to therapy?
To be, or not to be… better.
2. How does Shakespeare like his eggs in the morning?
To be over-easy, or not to be.
3. What’s Shakespeare’s favorite insect?
The moth of Ven-ice.
4. Who is Macbeth’s favorite rapper?
Notorious B.I.G. Thane.
5. Why did Shakespeare work at a bakery?
To make some dough on the side.
6. What did Shakespeare say to the mashed potatoes?
The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the fry.
7. Why did the witches in Macbeth get good grades?
Because they always triple-checked their spellings.
8. What’s an actor’s favorite drink during a Shakespearean play?
Much ado about Perrier.
9. Why did Shakespeare go to the art museum?
To get some inspiration for his plays.
10. How does Shakespeare like his steak cooked?
To be seared, or not to be seared.