In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best sewing jokes, sewing puns and sewing dad jokes to make you laugh.
Stitching Up a Good Time: Top Sewing Jokes to Keep You in Stitches
1. Why did the sewing machine refuse to work? It had too many threads running through its mind.
2. What did the sewing needle say to the thread? “I’m really attached to you.”
3. Why do seamstresses make terrible drivers? They always take the wrong turn.
4. What kind of music do fabric scraps listen to? Heavy metal.
5. Why was the needle feeling grumpy? It was fed up with all the sewing drama.
6. How does a seamstress fix a broken heart? With a little love and a lot of stitches.
7. Why did the tailor sit on the sewing machine? He wanted to press the gas pedal.
8. What do you call a group of seamstresses? A stitch and bitch.
9. Why did the seamstress go to therapy? She had too many unresolved seams.
10. What did the sewing machine say to the fabric? “I’ve got you in stitches!”
Sew Funny: Hilarious Jokes for Those Who Love to Sew
1. How do you make a sewing machine laugh? Tell it a fabric-ating joke.
2. Why couldn’t the thread get a job? It kept unraveling during interviews.
3. What did the seamstress say to the fabric when it refused to cooperate? “You’re on pins and needles now.”
4. Why did the sewing student get an “A” in class? She was a real sew-perstar.
5. What did the fabric say to the sewing machine? “You seamstress me up!”
6. Why was the tailor always calm under pressure? He had a lot of hem control.
7. How does a seamstress end a phone call? She seams you later!
8. Why do seamstresses make great detectives? They always follow the thread of the mystery.
9. What do you call a fabric-loving robot? A sew-bot.
10. Why do seamstresses love horror movies? They’re great at sewing suspense.
Laughing While you Seam: The Best Sewing Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why did the seamstress win an award? She always knew how to thread the needle.
2. What did the thread say to the sewing machine? “You’re my sew-mate.”
3. How do seamstresses stay organized? They have a crafternoon every week.
4. Why did the fabric break up with the sewing machine? It kept needling it about its past.
5. What’s a seamstress’s favorite type of music? Sewlful tunes.
6. Why did the needle go to therapy? It had too many trust issues with the thread.
7. What did the fabric say to the sequins? “You really sparkle in my eyes.”
8. Why was the sewing circle always the talk of the town? They always had the latest stitch-uations.
9. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it – just like fabric on a sewing machine!
10. What did the thread say to the fabric after a long day of sewing? “Let’s spool around together!”
Thread-ful Laughter: Sewing Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why did the seamstress get locked out of the house? She lost her pattern.
2. What did the sewing machine say during the storm? “I’m feeling a little under the weather.”
3. Why did the fabric refuse to leave the store? It was too attached to the bolt.
4. What did the seamstress say when asked about her dating life? “I’m still looking for the perfect sew-mate.”
5. How do you make a seamstress smile? Show her a well-sewn pun.
6. Why did the zipper go to therapy? It had too much baggage.
7. What did the bobbin say to the needle? “You really have me wound up.”
8. Why did the tailor bring a ladder to work? He heard the business was booming.
9. What’s a seamstresses favorite type of book? The Sew-stainable Living Handbook.
10. Why did the sewing machine refuse to go on vacation? It couldn’t find the right stitchuation.
Needle-ss to Say, These Sewing Jokes Are Worth a Good Laugh
1. Why did the seamstress get a job at the bakery? She heard they kneaded some help.
2. What did the fabric do when it won the lottery? It decided to seam a lot more of the world.
3. How do seamstresses measure success? By the thread count of their creations.
4. Why did the thread get in trouble at school? It kept unravelling the answers.
5. What did the needle say to the thimble? “You really have me covered.”
6. Why did the tailor always carry a ruler? He liked to measure up to his expectations.
7. What did the sewing machine say to the iron? “You really know how to press my buttons.”
8. Why did the fabric go to the gym? It wanted to stay in good shape.
9. How do you mend a broken heart? With a little love and a lot of stitching.
10. What’s a seamstress’s favorite movie genre? Sew-stalgia.