Top Seattle Jokes, Seattle Puns, Seattle Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best seattle jokes, seattle puns and seattle dad jokes to make you laugh.

The top 5 Seattle jokes that will have you laughing all the way to Pike Place Market

1. Why did the hipster burn his tongue in Seattle? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
2. How do you spot a tourist in Seattle? They’re the ones holding an umbrella on a sunny day.
3. Why did the Seattleite break up with the rain? It was too clingy.
4. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite type of music? Grunge, because they love things that are “alternative.”
5. Why did the salmon refuse to swim upstream in Seattle? It heard there was a traffic jam on the freeway.

Why did the Seattleite bring an umbrella to a comedy show? Funny Seattle weather jokes

1. How does a Seattleite find their car in a parking lot? They just wait for it to start raining, and follow the sound of the windshield wipers.
2. Why did the Seattleite become a meteorologist? They knew they would always have job security predicting rain.
3. What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? A weekend.
4. Why did the clouds break up with the rain in Seattle? It was too stormy of a relationship.
5. What do you call a sunny day in Seattle? A miracle.

From the Space Needle to the Seahawks: Hilarious jokes about Seattle landmarks and sports teams

1. Why did the Space Needle break up with the Eiffel Tower? It needed space.
2. Why do Seahawks fans make terrible detectives? They always jump to conclusions.
3. How does the Space Needle stay in shape? It does the Space Cardio workout.
4. Why was the Seahawks stadium always so loud? Because it had so many Russell Wilsons.
5. What did the Space Needle say to the Space Shuttle? “You’re out of this world!”

Seattle traffic jokes that will make you snicker (and then sit in gridlock)

1. Why did the Seattleite cross the road? They heard there was less traffic on the other side.
2. How do you survive a Seattle traffic jam? Keep a sleeping bag and snacks in your car at all times.
3. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite form of exercise? Road rage.
4. Why did the Seattleite always carry a map in their car? To remind them of where they were trying to go in the first place.
5. Why did the driver cross the Alaskan Way Viaduct? To get a better view of the traffic jam.

The ultimate collection of funny Seattle jokes that only locals will understand

1. Why did the Seattleite go to therapy? They couldn’t handle the emotional rollercoaster of the Seattle Freeze.
2. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite pickup line? “Are you from around here? Do you know a good coffee shop nearby?”
3. How does a Seattleite make friends? By complaining about the weather together.
4. Why did the Seattleite take up hiking? It was the only way to escape the city traffic.
5. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite hobby? Competing in the annual Umbrella Decorating Contest.