In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best scissor jokes, scissor puns and scissor dad jokes to make you laugh.
The sharpest scissor jokes to keep you rolling with laughter
1. Why did the scissors go to therapy? They had a cutting problem.
2. What do you call a lazy pair of scissors? A snipper.
3. Why was the scissor feeling down? It had been feeling a bit blunt lately.
4. How do scissors flirt? They make cutting remarks.
5. What did one scissor say to the other? I’m feeling sharp today.
6. Why did the scissors break up? They just weren’t cutting it anymore.
7. What do you call a scissor that can’t cut straight? A sheer disaster.
8. Why did the scissor go to school? It wanted to get a little edjumacation.
9. How do scissors stay sharp? They hang out with a cut above the rest.
10. Why did the scissors get into a fight? They couldn’t handle the tension.
Cut above the rest: hilarious scissor jokes to make you snip with joy
1. Why did the scissors refuse to ever fight again? They decided it was pointless.
2. What did the scissor say to the paper? Let’s make some cuts together.
3. Why did the scissors apply for a job at the hair salon? They heard it was a cutting-edge workplace.
4. What’s a scissor’s favorite game? Rock, paper, scissors!
5. How do scissors keep in touch? Through email – they always love to snip.
6. Why are scissors like good friends? They’re always there to lend an ear.
7. Why did the scissor take up yoga? It wanted to find its center.
8. How did the scissor win the race? It took a shortcut.
9. What do you call a scissor with a great sense of humor? A cut-up.
10. Why did the scissor refuse to listen to music? It couldn’t handle the sharp notes.
Not just for cutting paper: uproarious scissor jokes that will have you in stitches
1. How do scissors stay fit? They do cut-aerobics.
2. What’s a scissor’s favorite band? The Cutting Crew.
3. Why did the scissors binge-watch TV all day? They were on a cutting spree.
4. How do scissors get around town? They take a snip-taxi.
5. Why did the scissor get in trouble at school? It couldn’t sit still – always cutting up.
6. What do you call a scissor’s favorite puzzle? A jigsaw!
7. Why are scissors so good at math? They’re always on point.
8. What’s a scissor’s favorite snack? A slice of cake, of course.
9. How do scissors stay organized? They cut through the clutter.
10. Why did the scissor win the award for best performer? It always knows how to make the cut.
Cutting edge humor: top scissor jokes that will have you in fits of laughter
1. What do you give a sad scissor? A little snip of encouragement.
2. How do scissors enjoy the great outdoors? They go on a cutting-edge hike.
3. Why did the scissors refuse to play hide and seek? They always stick out.
4. What did the scissor say to the tape dispenser? Stick with me, we make a great pair.
5. How do scissors apologize? They make amends – one snip at a time.
6. Why did the scissors go on strike? They felt they were constantly being cut short.
7. What’s a scissor’s favorite holiday? Halloween – they love to dress up as a pair.
8. Why did the scissor cut its own hair? It wanted to test its skills.
9. How do scissors take their coffee? With a little bit of cream and sugar, they like to treat themselves.
10. Why did the scissor refuse to run for office? It didn’t want to get caught up in politics.