Top Sailor Jokes, Sailor Puns, Sailor Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best sailor jokes, sailor puns and sailor dad jokes to make you laugh.

“Sailor Jokes that Will Have You in Stitches”

1. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What did the ocean say to the sailboat? Nothing, it just waved.
3. How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye!
4. Why do sailors make terrible comedians? They always go overboard with their jokes.
5. Why did the sailor refuse to play cards on the boat? He was afraid of getting a bad hand.
6. What’s a sailor’s favorite kind of music? Sea shanties!
7. How do sailors communicate during a storm? With signal buoys!
8. Why did the sailor bring a pencil to the boat? In case he had to draw a line in the water.
9. What did the ocean say to the sailor’s ship? Nothing, it just waved.
10. Why did the sailor buy a parrot? He wanted a bird that could help with the anchor management.

“Anchors Aweigh: The Funniest Sailor Jokes on the Seven Seas”

1. Why don’t sailors like going to kickboxing classes? They prefer to avoid rough seas.
2. Why couldn’t the sailor play hide and seek on the boat? Because good luck finding a hiding spot with all those sails!
3. What’s a sailor’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline!
4. Why do sailors always carry a bar of soap? In case they have to wash ashore!
5. What did the sailor say when he lost his boat? “I’m really in ship now.”
6. Why do sailors make terrible poker players? They always have a tell-tale fin.
7. How does a sailor keep up with current events? He reads the tide tables.
8. Why was the sailor always calm during a storm? Because he had a good anchor management system.
9. What do sailors use to stay in shape? Anchor weights!
10. Why did the sailor join the choir? He wanted to hit the high Cs.

“Hoist the Mainsail and Get Ready to Laugh with These Hilarious Sailor Jokes”

1. Why did the sailor quit his job at the comedy club? He couldn’t handle the sea of laughter.
2. What did the sailor say to the chef on the boat? “Can I have some oar-d’oeuvres?”
3. Why did the sailor refuse to play cards with the octopus? Because he was too good at dealing from the bottom of the deck.
4. How does a sailor apologize? He says “I’m shore-y.”
5. Why did the sailor bring a map to the bar? He heard there was a treasure chest hidden in the drinks.
6. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of sandwich? A sub-marine!
7. Why do sailors always bring a spare pair of pants on the boat? In case they get tide down.
8. What do you call a group of musical sailors? A dock-tet!
9. Why do sailors prefer to eat alone? Because with them, the jokes are always just a little bit fishy.
10. What did the sailor say to the Kraken? “Squid pro quo.”

“Don’t Miss These Top-Deck Jokes for Seafaring Folks”

1. Why did the sailor bring a broom on the boat? He heard it was a sweepstakes!
2. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of movie? Tidal Waves!
3. How does a sailor like his coffee? Seaweed.
4. Why was the sailor always the last one to tell a joke? He always wanted to have the last laugh at sea.
5. What did the sailor say when he found a message in a bottle? “Sea, mail!”
6. How do sailors stay in shape? They do lots of row-mania.
7. Why do sailors make terrible gardeners? Because they always over-water the plants.
8. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of fruit? Watermelon!
9. Why do sailors have such good posture? They’re always standing at attention.
10. How does a sailor sing his ABC’s? Seaweed, Sea F, Seagull…