In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best sailing jokes, sailing puns and sailing dad jokes to make you laugh.
Smooth sailing: 10 hilariously funny sailing jokes
1. Why did the sailor bring a bar of soap to the boat? In case he needed to wash ashore.
2. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hooky.
3. Why did the sailor refuse to play cards on the boat? He was afraid of losing all his chips at sea.
4. How do sailors blow off steam? They go for a windjammer.
5. What did the ocean say to the sailboat? Nothing, it just waved.
6. Why couldn’t the pirate finish the alphabet? He got lost at C.
7. What did the sailor say to the mackerel? “You’re so fishy!”
8. Why don’t sailors shower before they walk the plank? They’ll wash up on shore anyway.
9. What’s a pirate’s favorite restaurant? Long John Silver’s.
10. Why don’t sailors ever go to concerts? They prefer their own sea shanties.
Anchors aweigh: Laugh out loud with these sailing puns
1. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A beginner.
2. How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye, captain!
3. Why did the pirate go to the charity event? To get his booty.
4. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You may think it’s R, but it’s actually the C they love.
5. Why don’t pirates take baths? They prefer to just wash up on shore.
6. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Arrrr & B.
7. Why do pirates make terrible detectives? They always jump to conclusions.
8. How do pirates prefer to resolve arguments? They settle it at the end of a plank.
9. What is a pirate’s favorite mode of transportation? A carrrrr.
10. Why was the pirate so good at golf? He had a great ‘hook’ shot.
High tides, higher laughs: The best sailing jokes to tickle your funny bone
1. What did the storm say to the sailboat? “Long time, no sea!”
2. Why do sailors make terrible poker players? They can never hold onto their chips.
3. How does a sailor greet another sailor? With a wave.
4. Why do pirates carry a bar of soap on board? In case they need to wash up on land.
5. What did the ocean say to the sailboat? Nothing, it just waved.
6. Why couldn’t the pirate find his matches? Because he was looking for the ones marked ‘Matey’.
7. What’s a pirate’s favorite restaurant? Arrrrrby’s.
8. How do you know if a pirate is good at poker? He’s got a great ‘poker face’…eye patch and all.
9. Why was the sailor always broke? He lost all his earnings in a ‘sea’ of bad investments.
10. How do pirates call their friends? With an ‘aye’ phone.
Sail away with humor: Top sailing jokes guaranteed to make you chuckle
1. Why did the sailor bring a ladder on the boat? He heard the captain wanted to raise the mast.
2. How does a sailor start a race? They give it a good ‘Stern’.
3. Why do pirates make terrible comedians? Their jokes always seem to ‘walk the plank’.
4. What is a pirate’s favorite part of the newspaper? The arrrrticles.
5. Why was the sailor always ready to sail? Because he was ‘mast’er of his craft.
6. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey!
7. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He was feeling a little ‘ship’ shape.
8. How do sailors prepare for a storm? They take a ‘barometer’ with them.
9. What did the sailor say to the seagull? Stop ‘squawkin’ at me!
10. Why did the pirate take up knitting? He heard it could help him take ‘sails’ off people’s minds.
Knot your average jokes: Hilarious sailing puns to brighten your day
1. What kind of movies do pirates like to watch? Rated arrrrr!
2. Why did the sailor quit his job at the bakery? He couldn’t handle the high ‘seas’ prices.
3. How does a pirate get their coffee fix? They go to the ‘Java’ seas.
4. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school? Arrrrrrt.
5. Why don’t pirates do well in school? They’re always ‘sailing’ their exams.
6. What’s a pirate’s favorite way to communicate? Eye mail.
7. Why did the pirate go broke in the stock market? He invested all his money in ‘pieces of eight’.
8. What did the ocean say to the sailboat? “You rock my boat!”
9. How do you know if a pirate is wealthy? They have a lot of ‘buccaneer’s.
10. Why was the pirate bad at baking? He used too much ‘sea’ salt.