In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best roast jokes, roast puns and roast dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious One-Liner Roast Jokes to Crack Up Your Friends
1. I’m not saying you’re old, but your birth certificate is written in Roman numerals.
2. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “FINE” written all over you.
3. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
4. You’re so bright, I bet you could light up a room just by leaving it.
5. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
6. I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
7. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
8. You’re so lazy, you’d be the first person to die in a zombie apocalypse.
9. Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn’t even listening.
10. If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, you’re invincible.
2. Punny and Playful Roast Jokes That Will Make You LOL
1. You’re an expert at the game of hide and seek. Too bad no one’s looking for you.
2. If you were a math problem, you’d be an imaginary number because you’re not worth solving.
3. Your humor is like a frog, it croaks.
4. Your idea of a balanced diet is a beer in each hand.
5. I’d call you a tool, but even they serve a purpose.
6. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a rad-ish.
7. You’re so boring, your pet rock ran away.
8. Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
9. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.
10. You’re so bad at parallel parking, you can’t even park your own jokes.
3. Savage and Sizzling Roast Jokes to Burn Your Enemies
1. I’d roast you, but my mom told me not to burn trash.
2. Are you parking ticket? Because you’ve got “useless” written all over you.
3. You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
4. Your face makes onions cry.
5. The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s butt and wait.
6. If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.
7. I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
8. I’d insult you, but then I would be insulting the trash.
9. You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.
10. I’d call you a tool, but even they serve a purpose.
4. Clever and Creative Roast Jokes That Will Leave Everyone in Stitches
1. I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons.
2. You’re like a parking ticket, annoying and hard to get rid of.
3. Your face is like a camera, always getting on my nerves.
4. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
5. You’re the reason the average lifespan is decreasing.
6. I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want you as a coworker.
7. Your face is like a newspaper, filled with bad news.
8. You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo bottles.
9. If I threw a stick, you’d leave and not come back. Just like fetch with a dog.
10. Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
5. Classic and Timeless Roast Jokes That Never Fail to Bring the Laughs
1. Your sense of humor is like a Dementor, it sucks all the fun out of the room.
2. I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want you as a coworker.
3. You’re like a camera, always getting on my nerves.
4. If laughter is contagious, your face must be an epidemic.
5. You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo bottles.
6. I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
7. Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
8. You’re the reason the average lifespan is decreasing.
9. If I threw a stick, you’d leave and not come back. Just like fetch with a dog.
10. Your humor is like a frog, it croaks.