In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best reptile jokes, reptile puns and reptile dad jokes to make you laugh.
Slithering Laughter: Hilarious Reptile Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle
1. Why did the snake go to school? To improve his hiss-tory grades!
2. What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon!
3. Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
4. How do you make a turtle fast? Take away its shell!
5. What do you call a snake that builds things? A boa constructor!
6. Why do turtles love to write? Because they have shellfies!
7. How does a snake make an appointment? He hissssses it!
8. What do you call a reptile that sings opera? An alligatorten!
9. Why did the snake become a math teacher? He was an adder by nature!
10. Why don’t turtles ever share their feelings? They prefer to keep things shellf-contained!
More Than Just Scales: Funny Jokes About Our Cold-Blooded Friends
1. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory!
2. How do you make a snake laugh? You tickle his funny bone!
3. Why did the crocodile wear a vest? He wanted to look snappy!
4. What do you call a lizard who sings and acts? A reptile dysfunction!
5. Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!
6. Why do snakes never argue with anyone? They always like to hiss and make up!
7. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A hiss-terical constrictor!
8. Why did the alligator wear a vest? Because he wanted to look absolutely terryfic!
9. How do turtles communicate with each other? By using shellepathy!
10. What do you call a reptile that’s a great singer? An opera-snake!
Time to Shed Some Laughs: The Best Reptile Jokes for Every Amphibian Lover
1. What do you call a lizard that sings for a living? A geck-star!
2. Why did the snake bring a bed to school? He heard it was time to hit the snooze button!
3. What did the chameleon say to the mirror? “Long time no see!”
4. How can you tell if a snake is a good dancer? It has a lot of snake hips!
5. What do you call a reptile who works in technology? A geek-o!
6. Why can’t turtles play hide and seek? Because they always leave a trail!
7. How do you make a lizard laugh? Tell him a tail!
8. Why did the snake break up with his girlfriend? He just couldn’t handle her snakey behavior!
9. What do you call a turtle who loves to gamble? A shell-stacker!
10. What’s a reptile’s favorite game show? The Price is Right, because they love a good slithery deal!
Laughing All the Way to the Terrarium: Side-Splitting Jokes About Reptiles
1. Why don’t reptiles like online shopping? They prefer to go window licking in stores!
2. What did the snake give his wife for Valentine’s Day? His heart in a constrictor!
3. Why did the gecko go to the doctor? He had a reptile dysfunction!
4. What did the alligator say when he was offered a job? “I’ll take it, it’s a croc of opportunity!”
5. How does a turtle apologize to someone? “Shell we make amends?”
6. Why was the lizard always on time for work? He knew how to scale the clock!
7. What did the snake use to build his house? Python and mortar!
8. Why did the turtle buy a fan? To keep cool under his shell!
9. How do reptiles stay in shape? They do croco-dials and push-ups!
10. Why don’t snakes have to weigh themselves? They are always on the scales!
From Geckos to Gators: Rib-Tickling Jokes for Reptile Enthusiasts
1. What’s a crocodile’s favorite game to play in the pool? Marco Snappo!
2. Why did the snake become a comedian? He was a real hiss-terical guy!
3. How do you make a lizard laugh? Show him a reptile dysfunction commercial!
4. What do you call a reptile that’s good at math? An adder-ologist!
5. What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A jump rope!
6. Why did the turtle start a band? He wanted to be a shell-cist!
7. Why don’t turtles ever argue? They’re too shell-shocked to speak up!
8. What did the chameleon say to his date? “I like the way you blend in with the crowd!”
9. How does a snake write a letter? With venom and Viper!
10. What do you call a reptile that’s always in a hurry? A lizardracer!