In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best railroad jokes, railroad puns and railroad dad jokes to make you laugh.
All Aboard the Laughter Train: The Top Railroad Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle
1. Why did the scarecrow become a train conductor? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. What do you call a train carrying bubble gum? A chew chew train!
3. How does a locomotive send love letters? By letting off steam!
4. Why don’t we ever play hide and seek with trains? They always go off the rails!
5. What did the passenger say to the rude train conductor? “Ticket, please, not a roast!”
6. Why did the train sit down at the restaurant? It wanted a little “train-ing” before the main course!
7. How do you know when a train has been in your garden? You can smell its “engine-ious” presence!
8. What did one railroad tie say to the other? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you ‘track-ed’!”
9. Why did the train always lose at poker? It had too many “locomotives” in its hand!
10. How do you make a model train laugh? Tickling its “chassis”!
Conductor Crack-Ups: Hilarious Jokes About Trains and Railroads
1. How do locomotives stay in shape? They train regularly!
2. What did the conductor say to the unruly passenger? “You’re off your ‘track’, buddy!”
3. Why did the railroad break up with the steam engine? It couldn’t handle the “pressure”!
4. What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train!
5. Why did the train sit on the couch all day? It needed some “loco-motion”!
6. What did the train conductor say to the psychic? “I can see your ‘train’ of thought!”
7. Why was the cross-eyed teacher hired by the railroad? Because she could keep her eye on both tracks at the same time!
8. How do trains stay in touch with each other? They “rail” each other on the phone!
9. Why did the train go to therapy? It had too many “loco” motives!
10. What’s a train’s favorite kind of music? Choo-choo-nes!
Off the Rails Funny: The Best Railroad Jokes to Share with Fellow Train Enthusiasts
1. Why did the train take a nap? It needed to hit the “snooze” button!
2. How do trains make decisions? They conduct a “track” meeting!
3. Why did the train break up with the caboose? It wanted some “loco” independence!
4. What did the one train say to the other train on Valentine’s Day? “I choo-choo-choose you!”
5. Why did the train get detention? It kept “loco”-motioning to its friends in class!
6. How do you cheer up a sad locomotive? Bring it some “training” wheels!
7. Why did the train go to Hollywood? It heard they were casting for a “loco-movie”!
8. What did the railway tracks do on their day off? They went out for a “track and field” trip!
9. Why don’t trains ever get cold? They always have a little “locomotive” cheer!
10. What did the railway line say to the train station? “You’re my final ‘stop’ in life!”
Trackside Tickles: Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes About Train Travel
1. Why did the train get a speeding ticket? It was over the “track” limit!
2. What do you call an empty train? A “de-loco-ted” train!
3. Why was the train detective such a good investigator? He always “tracked” down the culprits!
4. How do trains greet each other? They say “choo-choo!”
5. What do you call a train that refuses to stop? A “stubborn” locomotive!
6. Why don’t trains ever have mid-life crises? They’re always on the “right track”!
7. What did the train say after finishing a race? “I’m chug-a-lugging my way to victory!”
8. Why did the train go to school? It wanted to get a “loco-motion” education!
9. How do trains make decisions? They put it to a “track” vote!
10. Why did the caboose get promoted? Because it was at the “rear-end” of all the success!
Full Steam Ahead: More Side-Splitting Railroad Jokes for Your Amusement
1. What do you call a group of train conductors? A “loco-motive”!
2. Why was the train late for work? It got “lost” on the tracks!
3. Why did the train eat popcorn at the movie theater? It wanted a “conductor’s snack”!
4. What do you call a train that likes to dance? The “chug-a-lug shuffle”!
5. Why did the train get a part in the play? It had a “loco-motive” personality!
6. What did the engineer say to the esteemed passenger? “All aboard the ‘class’ train!”
7. How do you know when a train is tired? It starts “loco-moaning”!
8. Why did the train join the gym? It wanted to work on its “loco-tonic”!
9. What did the train say to calm down the nervous passengers? “Don’t worry, we’re right on ‘track’!”
10. How do you stop a train from making too much noise? You “rail” in the volume!