Top Quilting Jokes, Quilting Puns, Quilting Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best quilting jokes, quilting puns and quilting dad jokes to make you laugh.

Stitching Up a Laugh: Hilarious Quilting Jokes to Brighten Your Day

1. Why did the quilter always carry a ruler? In case they had to measure up to someone.
2. How does a quilter keep their cool? They just stay in the seam.
3. Why do quilters make the best detectives? They always follow the thread of clues.
4. What do you call a nervous quilt? A jitter-quilt.
5. Why did the quilt go to therapy? It had too many unresolved issues.
6. How does a quilter like their coffee? Patched up with cream and sugar.
7. What did the quilt say to the bed? “I’ve got you covered.”
8. Why did the patchwork quilt go to the doctor? It had too many squares.
9. How do quilters solve problems? They just piece it together.
10. What did the thread say to the needle? “I’m sew glad we’re together.”

Patchwork Humor: The Funniest Quilting Jokes That Will Make You LOL

1. Why was the quilt always on time? It had a good stitch record.
2. How do quilters like to dance? Seamlessly.
3. What do you call a quilt that’s not feeling well? A pillowcase.
4. Why do quilts make terrible baseball players? They always get caught in a pinch.
5. How do quilters stay in shape? They do patchwork-outs.
6. Why did the quilt break up with the blanket? It felt like they were just going in circles.
7. What did the quilt say to the sewing machine? “You really needle me sometimes.”
8. Why do quilters make great chefs? They know how to whip up a good pattern.
9. What’s a quilter’s favorite board game? Thread-le.
10. Why did the quilter bring a ladder to the quilt show? To raise the patchwork.

Quilted Comedy: Top Jokes for Quilters That Will Leave You in Stitches

1. Why did the quilter join the band? They wanted to play the patchwork.
2. How do quilters celebrate their birthdays? With lots of quilt-y pleasures.
3. What do you call a fake quilt? A quill-ting.
4. Why do quilts make excellent listeners? They always have a square deal.
5. How do quilters stay warm in the winter? With quilt-y hugs.
6. What’s a quilter’s favorite holiday? Patchwork Monday.
7. Why did the quilt go to therapy? It had too many layers to unravel.
8. How do quilters make decisions? They just go with the fabric of their being.
9. What’s a quilter’s favorite movie genre? Patchworky-drama.
10. Why was the quilter always calm? They had a lot of quilt control.