In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best produce jokes, produce puns and produce dad jokes to make you laugh.
A-Peeling Produce Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!
2. What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
4. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
5. Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was ahead!
6. How do you fix a broken tomato?
With tomato paste!
7. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he’s a fungi!
8. What’s a banana’s favorite dance move?
The split!
9. Why did the orange go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
10. How do you make a fruit punch?
Give it boxing lessons!
Lettuce Entertain You: Hilarious Vegetable Jokes That Are Too Good to Beet
1. Why was the cucumber mad?
Because it was in a pickle!
2. What is a scarecrow’s favorite type of fruit?
Straw-berries!
3. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
4. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Because he ran out of juice!
5. Why did the lettuce win the race?
Because it was a head!
6. What’s a vegetable’s favorite martial art?
Carrot-ty!
7. Why did the onion break up with the garlic?
It couldn’t handle the bad breath!
8. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They might crack up!
9. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
10. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
Going Bananas: The Funniest Fruit Jokes of All Time
1. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
2. What’s a banana’s favorite instrument?
A “banan-a-phone”!
3. Why did the pineapple stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice!
4. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
5. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?
It ran out of juice!
6. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a banana?
Frostbite!
7. Why did the orange go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
8. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
It let out a little wine!
9. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
10. What’s a fruit’s favorite game?
Peach volleyball!
Get a Good Laugh with These Corny Produce Puns
1. Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date!
2. Why don’t melons ever get married?
Because they cantaloupe!
3. How do you fix a broken tomato?
With tomato paste!
4. Why did the corn go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little ear-itated!
5. Why did the grape go out with the raisin?
Because it couldn’t find a date!
6. Why did the lime go to the doctor?
It was a little sour!
7. Why did the lettuce win the race?
Because it was a head!
8. What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Stop stalking me!
9. Why did the bell pepper refuse to fight?
It didn’t want to get jalapeño face!
10. Why was the cucumber mad?
Because it was in a pickle!
Berry Funny: Laugh-Out-Loud Fruit and Vegetable Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. What’s a vegetable’s favorite type of music?
Beet-hoven!
2. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice!
3. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
4. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
5. Why did the lettuce win the race?
Because it was a head!
6. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
7. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a banana?
Frostbite!
8. Why did the cucumber go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
9. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he’s a fungi!
10. How do you make a fruit punch?
Give it boxing lessons!