In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best poker jokes, poker puns and poker dad jokes to make you laugh.
The Top 10 Hilarious Poker Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
1. Why did the poker player go to the dentist? To get a full house!
2. What did the dealer say to the deck of cards? “I can’t deal with you anymore, you’re all a bunch of jokers!”
3. Why are pirates so good at poker? Because they can always spot the “hook” card!
4. How do you get a professional poker player to fold? Show them a calculator!
5. Why did the poker player break up with their deck of cards? They were too “draw”-matic!
6. What do you call a poker player who’s always winning? A “chip” off the old block!
7. Why did the poker player wear sunglasses at the table? To “shade” themselves from the competition!
8. What do you call a group of poker players who are all on a losing streak? A bad “hand” club!
9. How do you know if a poker player is bluffing? They’re moving their chips more than a bag of trail mix!
10. Why did the poker player go broke in the Arctic? They were playing with polar “bears”!
Laugh Out Loud with These Side-Splitting Poker Funny Stories
1. One time, a poker player accidentally bet their car keys instead of chips. Needless to say, they were “keyed” up the entire hand!
2. A magician once tried to play poker with a deck of transparent cards. It was a total “disappearing act” at the table!
3. A poker player once drank so much at a tournament, they thought they were seeing “full houses” in their dreams!
4. During a game, a player made a huge bet and claimed they had a “royal flush.” Turns out, they were just bluffing with a “full house” of cleaning cards!
5. One poker player tried to cheat by hiding an extra card up their sleeve. Instead of winning, they got caught and were left feeling “sleeveless”!
6. During a high-stakes game, a player accidentally knocked their chips onto the floor. They were left picking up the pieces of their “chip”per attitude!
7. A poker player once tried to use a “wild card” in a standard game. They quickly learned that life isn’t always a “wild” card game!
8. One player thought they had a sure win with a “straight flush.” Turns out, they were just “flushed” with embarrassment!
9. A poker player tried to impress their date by showing off their card skills. Let’s just say it was a “hands-down” disaster!
10. During a game, a player accidentally flipped over their cards too early. They were left feeling “exposed” in more ways than one!
Poker Jokes to Brighten Your Day and Lighten the Mood at the Table
1. I asked my wife if she wants to play strip poker, and she said she doesn’t know how to play. I told her not to worry, it’s really easy to learn… I still lost the game.
2. Why did the poker player go to therapy? They had too many bad “beats” in life!
3. What do you call a professional poker player who’s also a chef? A “card-dealer”!
4. Why do poker players make terrible sailors? Because they’re always “raising” the anchor!
5. How do you get a poker player to fold without saying a word? Hand them a mirror and tell them to face the truth!
6. What did the poker player say when they lost their lucky chip? “I guess my luck just ran out!”
7. Why was the poker table always so messy? Because the players were always “raising” the stakes!
8. Why did the poker player bring a ladder to the game? To “climb” their way to victory!
9. What do you call a poker player who’s also a gardener? A “chip” off the old “block”!
10. Why did the poker player break up with their deck of cards? They were tired of the same “hands” over and over again!
The Funniest Poker Memes That Will Have You Rolling on the Floor
1. [Image of Kermit the Frog sipping tea with text: “But that’s none of my business… unless we’re playing poker.”]
2. [Image of a cat staring intensely at a deck of cards with text: “When your pet has a better poker face than you.”]
3. [Image of a confused person holding a hand of cards with text: “Me trying to figure out if I have a good hand or not.”]
4. [Image of a crying baby surrounded by poker chips with text: “When even a baby can bluff better than you.”]
5. [Image of a dog wearing sunglasses at a poker table with text: “Playing it cool like I’m not about to lose my entire stack.”]
6. [Image of a chef holding a spatula like a poker dealer with text: “When you’re not sure if you should play the hand or cook dinner.” ]
7. [Image of a person with a shocked expression at the poker table with text: “When you realize you’ve been bluffing with a losing hand the whole time.”]
8. [Image of a person with a giant poker hand drawn on their face with text: “When you take ‘poker face’ to a whole new level.”]
9. [Image of a confused person looking at a deck of cards with text: “Me trying to understand why I keep losing at poker.”]
10. [Image of a person with a bunch of poker chips stacked on their head with text: “When you take ‘stacking the chips’ a little too literally.”]
Unleash Your Inner Joker with These Poker Jokes and One-Liners
1. Why did the poker player go to the therapist? To work on their “tell”!
2. What do you call a coffee-loving poker player? A “bluffin’ with cream and sugar”!
3. How do poker players stay cool during a heatwave? They always have a “pocket pair” of sunglasses!
4. What did the five cards say to the face-down card? “Deal with it”!
5. Why did the poker player bring a map to the game? They heard it was all about “reading” the room!
6. What do you call a poker player who’s also a comedian? A “full house” of jokes!
7. Why do poker players make terrible actors? Because they can’t “hold” a good performance!
8. What did the poker player say when they won a huge hand? “I’m on a royal flush of emotions!”
9. Why was the poker player always the life of the party? They had a “full stack” of jokes ready to go!
10. What’s a poker player’s favorite type of music? Blues, because they’re always “drawing” the right cards!