In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best pistachio jokes, pistachio puns and pistachio dad jokes to make you laugh.
Nutty Humor: The Top Pistachio Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up
1. Why did the pistachio get a job at the bank? Because it was good at cracking nuts!
2. What did the pistachio say to the walnut? “Stop being so shellfish!”
3. How do pistachios apologize to each other? They say “I’m sorry for being a little nuts!”
4. Why did the pistachio go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty!
5. What did the pistachio say to the cashew at the party? “Let’s go nuts together!”
6. Why couldn’t the pistachio join the peanut club? Because it was too shell-shocked!
7. How do pistachios celebrate a birthday? They throw a nut party!
8. Why did the pistachio break up with the almond? It couldn’t handle the nuts!
9. What did the pistachio do when it won the lottery? It went nuts!
10. Why did the pistachio refuse to tell its secrets? It didn’t want to spill its nuts!
Shell-Shocking Laughter: Funny Pistachio Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. How do pistachios get around town? They take the shell-elevator!
2. Why did the pistachio join the comedy club? It wanted to crack some jokes!
3. What did the pistachio say to the almond at the party? “Let’s go nuts together!”
4. How do pistachios stay in shape? They nutercise!
5. Why did the pistachio win the talent show? It cracked everyone up!
6. What did the pistachio say to the walnut? “Stop being so shellfish!”
7. How do pistachios celebrate Halloween? They go as nutty ghosts!
8. Why did the pistachio call the police? It was feeling a little shell-shocked!
9. What do you call a group of pistachios? A nutty bunch!
10. Why couldn’t the pistachio go to the movie theater? It was too shell-shocked to sit still!
Going Nuts: Hilarious Pistachio Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why did the pistachio start a band? It wanted to make some cash…ew!
2. What did the pistachio say when it heard a joke? “That’s nutty funny!”
3. How do pistachios send messages? They nutecate!
4. Why did the pistachio run for president? It wanted to be the top nut in charge!
5. What did the pistachio say when it won the race? “I’m a real nutcracker!”
6. How do pistachios find their way home? They use their nuts for landmarks!
7. Why did the pistachio sit in the front row of the concert? It wanted to be shell-shocked!
8. What do you call a pistachio who is always quiet? A shy nut!
9. Why did the pistachio go to the library? It wanted to check out some nutty books!
10. What did the pistachio do when it got a promotion? It went nuts with excitement!
Pistachio Puns Galore: Laugh Out Loud with These Nutty Jokes
1. Why did the pistachio refuse to tell its secrets? It didn’t want to spill its nuts!
2. What did the pistachio do when it won the lottery? It went nuts!
3. Why couldn’t the pistachio join the peanut club? Because it was too shell-shocked!
4. How do pistachios celebrate a birthday? They throw a nut party!
5. Why did the pistachio break up with the almond? It couldn’t handle the nuts!
6. What did the pistachio say to the cashew at the party? “Let’s go nuts together!”
7. How do pistachios apologize to each other? They say “I’m sorry for being a little nuts!”
8. Why did the pistachio go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty!
9. What did the pistachio say to the walnut? “Stop being so shellfish!”
10. Why did the pistachio get a job at the bank? Because it was good at cracking nuts!
Nuttin’ But Laughs: The Best Pistachio Jokes for a Good Time
1. Why did the pistachio join the comedy club? It wanted to crack some jokes!
2. How do pistachios stay in shape? They nutercise!
3. Why did the pistachio win the talent show? It cracked everyone up!
4. Why couldn’t the pistachio go to the movie theater? It was too shell-shocked to sit still!
5. Why did the pistachio start a band? It wanted to make some cash…ew!
6. What did the pistachio say when it heard a joke? “That’s nutty funny!”
7. How do pistachios send messages? They nutecate!
8. Why did the pistachio run for president? It wanted to be the top nut in charge!
9. What did the pistachio say when it won the race? “I’m a real nutcracker!”
10. How do pistachios find their way home? They use their nuts for landmarks!