Top Pirate Jokes, Pirate Puns, Pirate Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best pirate jokes, pirate puns and pirate dad jokes to make you laugh.

1. Yo Ho Ho! The Funniest Pirate Jokes to Make You Laugh

1. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was standing on the deck!
2. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school? Arrrrrrrt!
3. How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye!
4. What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
5. Why did the pirate go to the Apple Store? To get a new iPatch!
6. What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter? Dear sir or madam,
7. How do pirates prefer to get around? By footloose and ship-free!
8. Why did the pirate take a shower before walking the plank? He wanted to wash up on shore.
9. How do pirates know that they are pirates? They think, therefore they arrr!
10. Why was the pirate so good at basketball? He always made the best “hook” shots!

2. Shiver Me Timbers: Hilarious Pirate Jokes That Will Have You Rolling

1. What did the ocean say to the pirate ship? Nothing, it just waved.
2. How does a pirate prefer to cook his meat? Paaarrrr-b-q!
3. Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant? He heard they had great fish and ships!
4. Why did the pirate break up with his girlfriend? She was with another buccaneer.
5. What’s a pirate’s favorite fast food restaurant? Argh-by’s!
6. How do pirates prefer to keep in touch? By sea-mail!
7. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He was feeling a little-sick bay.
8. What’s a pirate’s favorite movie genre? Swash-bucklers!
9. What does a pirate use to communicate during battle? His w-Arr-GH walkie talkie.
10. What’s a pirate’s favorite store? Target, because they love a good deal on loot!

3. Swashbuckling Laughs: The Best Pirate Jokes on the Seven Seas

1. Why did the pirate bring a bucket to the bar? To go for a round of “sea-rs”!
2. How do pirates prefer to listen to music? On their iPods, because they arrr-guably have the best playlists.
3. What do you call a pirate who likes to clean? Captain Swab!
4. Why did the pirate go to the art show? He heard they had a lot of “treasure” maps.
5. How do pirates prefer to cook their eggs? Scrambl-arrrrr!
6. What’s a pirate’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Rocky Shore!
7. Why did the pirate refuse to get on the swing set? He was afraid of getting “planked”!
8. What’s a pirate’s favorite game show? Wheel of ‘Fortune’!
9. How do pirates prefer to workout? With their “swashbucklers”!
10. Why did the pirate get fired from the movie theater? He kept yelling “Aye, aye, captain” during the film!

4. Pieces of Eight: Funny Pirate Jokes Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day

1. Why did the pirate join a gym? He heard they had great “seas-on” rates!
2. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? R n’ Aaaaarrrrrr-B!
3. How do pirates prefer to solve problems? By using their aye-phone!
4. Why did the pirate go to the baseball game? He heard they had a great pitcher of rum!
5. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of pet? A parrrrot!
6. Why did the pirate go to the dentist? He had a cavity that needed to be “plundered”.
7. How do pirates prefer to celebrate their birthday? By having a “yo-ho-ho” party!
8. What’s a pirate’s favorite candy? Little pieces of eight (chocolate coins)!
9. Why did the pirate take up painting? He heard it was a great way to find his “inner matey”.
10. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie!

5. Ahoy Matey! Set Sail with These Side-Splitting Pirate Jokes

1. Why did the pirate go to the doctor for a new hook? He had to get his “hand” replaced.
2. What’s a pirate’s favorite social media platform? Inst-Arrrrr-gram!
3. How do pirates prefer to learn new skills? By attending “plank” schools!
4. Why did the pirate buy an iPad? He heard it had great “Aye-con” apps.
5. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of joke? Puns, because they arrr always up for a good play on words!
6. Why did the pirate go to the party in a pirate hat and eyepatch? He wanted to make an “arr-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r”iving entrance!
7. How do pirates prefer to do math? By using their “arrrrithmetic” skills!
8. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of restaurant? A “seafood” restaurant with great “booty”!
9. Why did the pirate break up with his parrot? It kept squawking about the “other buccaneer”!
10. What’s a pirate’s favorite song? “Seas” the day by Taylor Swift!