Top Pet Jokes, Pet Puns, Pet Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best pet jokes, pet puns and pet dad jokes to make you laugh.

Pawsitively Hilarious: Top 10 Pet Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud

1. Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog!
2. How do you know when a cat is agitated? She’s having a hissy fit!
3. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish!
4. Why did the cat join the Red Cross? To help purr-pare for cat-astrophes!
5. What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockapoodledoo!
6. How does a dog stop a video? He presses the paws button!
7. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? He was always spotted!
8. What did the grape say when the dog stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
9. What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!
10. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

Furr-ocious Fun: The Most Side-Splitting Pet Puns of All Time

1. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
2. What does a rabbit use to keep his fur looking good? Hare spray!
3. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
4. What do you call a cat that swallows a duck? A duck-filled fatty puss!
5. How do you make a goldfish age? Take out the ‘g’!
6. How does a dog stop a movie? He presses the paws button!
7. What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent!
8. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
9. How do you know if your cat has eaten a duck? She quacks instead of meows!
10. What’s a dog’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone!

Laugh Your Tail Off: The Best Funny Jokes About Pets

1. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
2. What did the cat say when it was confused? “I’m purr-plexed!”
3. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
4. What do you get when you cross a dog and a phone? A golden receiver!
5. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot!
6. What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!
7. How do you make a cat go “woof”? Soak it in gasoline and light a match!
8. Why did the pig go into the kitchen? It felt like bacon!
9. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
10. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

From Ruff to Rib-Tickling: Pet Jokes Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day

1. Why do birds fly south for the winter? It’s faster than walking!
2. Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the refrigerator? Because it turns “ice” into “mice”!
3. What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper? “Ruff!”
4. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
6. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowtain!
7. How do you take a sick pig to the hospital? In a hambulance!
8. Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the moooon!
9. How do you make a cat happy? Give it a purr-fect gift!
10. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Waggily Ever After: Hilarious Pet Jokes That Will Make You Smile

1. Why was the cat so small? Because it only had one kitten!
2. What does a dog do that a man steps into? Pants!
3. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
4. What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone!
5. How do you catch a runaway dog? Make a noise like a bone!
6. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison!
7. What do you get if you cross a pet bird and a detective? Owl-detective!
8. Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them!
9. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
10. Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the moooon!