In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best periodic table jokes, periodic table puns and periodic table dad jokes to make you laugh.
Elementary Hilarity: The Funniest Jokes About the Periodic Table
1. Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all its friends argon.
2. What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
3. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
It was met with an element of silence.
4. Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.
5. Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
6. Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything!
7. Two atoms are walking down the street.
One atom says, “I think I lost an electron.”
The other asks, “Are you positive?”
8. How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
9. Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar.
10. I would tell you a joke about sodium, but Na.
Chemical Comedy: Laughing at the Best Periodic Table Puns
1. Silver and gold walk into a bar.
Bartender says, “A, U, get outta here!”
2. What element is a girl’s future best friend?
Carbon, because diamonds are a girl’s best friend.
3. I told a joke about potassium.
K.
4. What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium.
5. How did sulfur and tungsten resolve their differences?
They had a noble gas.
6. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
That’s my fault – I didn’t get a reaction.
7. What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.
8. Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it’s basic material.
9. How does a chemist greet another chemist?
With a “Sup, bromine?”
10. Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gases here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
Breaking Bad Chemistry Jokes: Hilarious Periodic Table Humor
1. Why are chemists excellent for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
2. What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
SWAG.
3. I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite.
He said NaBrO.
4. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
It was Boron.
5. What do you call iron blowing in the wind?
Ferrous wheel.
6. Gold and silver have a staring contest.
Au, Ag!
7. How do you identify a charged molecule?
You take away its monopoly.
8. Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.
9. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
It just didn’t have any chemistry.
10. Did you hear about the chemist who was accused of a crime?
He claimed it was a nickel-and-dime operation.
Atomic Laughs: Ridiculously Funny Jokes About the Elements
1. Why are chemists so great at solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
2. I would tell you a chemistry joke but all the good ones Argon.
3. What is a cation afraid of?
A dogion.
4. What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium.
5. Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gases here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
6. Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all its friends argon.
7. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
8. Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?
There was no chemistry.
9. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
That’s my fault – I didn’t get a reaction.
10. Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar.
Laughing Gas: The Best Periodic Table Jokes to Lighten the Mood
1. Why did the chemist go to therapy?
She had too many solutions.
2. What did one mole say to the other mole?
Are you my type?
3. How often do I tell chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
4. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
It was met with an element of silence.
5. Two atoms are walking down the street.
One atom says, “I think I lost an electron.”
The other asks, “Are you positive?”
6. Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.
7. How does a chemist cheer up a friend?
With a little “chemistry.”
8. Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar.
9. I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite.
He said NaBrO.
10. Did you hear about the chemist who was accused of a crime?
He claimed it was a nickel-and-dime operation.