In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best patriotic jokes, patriotic puns and patriotic dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious Flag Jokes to Make You Burst with Laughter
1. Why did the flag go to school? Because it wanted to be a little more flag-ucated!
2. What do you call a flag that’s always tired? A flag-pole!
3. Why did the flag break up with the pole? It needed some space.
4. What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing, it just waved.
5. How does a flag greet people? It says, “Flag you very much!”
6. Why was the flag in detention? Because it refused to pledge allegiance.
7. How does a flag stay in shape? It exercises its stripes.
8. What did the patriotic flag say to the lazy flag? “You need to get in line!”
9. What’s a flag’s favorite dance move? The flag-waving shuffle!
10. Why did the flag get a ticket? It was caught speeding… out!
2. Funny Presidential Jokes for Patriotic Humor
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
2. What’s the President’s favorite fragrance? Air Force One.
3. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
4. Why did George Washington avoid the supermarket? He couldn’t tell a lie in the produce section.
5. Why did Abraham Lincoln wear a tall hat? He had a big head.
6. What did President Obama say to the coffee? “I’ve got you in my brew.”
7. Why couldn’t the President play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding behind that podium!
8. Why did Thomas Jefferson bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
9. How does a President keep track of all their appointments? With a cale…ndar.
10. What’s a President’s favorite sports team? The Washington Red Ties.
3. Laugh Out Loud Military Jokes for a Patriotic Chuckle
1. Why do soldiers always carry a map? In case they lose their bearings.
2. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
3. Why did the sergeant yell at the boat? It refused to address him as Captain.
4. Why don’t military personnel make good chefs? They always salute the wrong ingredients.
5. What do you call a jacket that’s also a gun? A bulletproof vest.
6. Why was the drill sergeant always calm? Because he had a lot of patience.
7. Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the battlefield? He heard the enemy was taking it to new heights.
8. Why was the tank embarrassed? Because it saw a turret at the beach.
9. How do you know if a soldier is ticklish? They battlefield laugh.
10. Why did the military man switch seats at the bar? He was tired of standing at attention.
4. Side-Splitting Independence Day Jokes for Patriotic Fun
1. Why did the firework break up with the rocket? It needed some space.
2. What’s Uncle Sam’s favorite snack? Firecrackers!
3. Why doesn’t Lady Liberty ever go on a diet? Because she’s already light as a feather.
4. How does the Statue of Liberty keep her torch up? With a little arm strength.
5. Why did the American flag go to therapy? It had too many unresolved issues.
6. Why was the hot dog the most popular food at the Fourth of July party? It had a lot of buns!
7. What did the patriotic corn say to the annoying corn? “Shuck off!”
8. Why did the apple pie break up with the American flag cake? It didn’t want to be a dessert-tor.
9. How does the Declaration of Independence communicate? Loud and clear!
10. What’s a founding father’s favorite game? Monopoly (they love independence).
5. Rib-Tickling Patriotism Jokes for a Good Laugh
1. Why was Betsy Ross the best at sewing flags? She had a stitch in time.
2. What’s a patriotic cat’s favorite song? “My Country ‘Tis of Thee-ow!”
3. Why does the Liberty Bell never get sick? It has a crack immune system.
4. Why are bald eagles always invited to parties? They have an eagle eye for fun!
5. How do Americans exercise their freedom? They run a mile for every star on the flag.
6. Why did the fireworks go to school? To get a bangin’ education.
7. What do you call a barbecue with all-American food? Star-spangled grillin’.
8. Why did the American flag go to the beach? It wanted to catch some good waves.
9. How does a patriotic baker measure ingredients? With a red, white, and blue cup.
10. What’s a firefighter’s favorite holiday? Sparkler’s Day!