Top Patience Jokes, Patience Puns, Patience Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best patience jokes, patience puns and patience dad jokes to make you laugh.

1. Why Patience Jokes Are the Funniest: A Hilarious Introduction

1. I have the patience of a saint… Saint Slightly Annoyed.
2. Did you hear about the impatient squirrel? It just couldn’t wait to get its nuts.
3. My patience is so thin, it could be used as dental floss.
4. I tried to have patience, but it was taking too long.
5. Why did the impatient gardener plant his seeds upside down? He wanted to see if they would grow faster.
6. I asked my boss for a raise, and he told me to be patient. So, I patiently waited five minutes before asking again.
7. Patience is what parents have when there are kids in the house but they haven’t lost their minds yet.
8. I have the patience of a saint… Saint Over It.
9. What do you call a person who enjoys waiting in line? A masochist.
10. I have so much patience, I could wait for a blue moon… in the middle of the day.

2. Laugh Out Loud with These Top 10 Patience Jokes

1. Why don’t we ever tell secrets to time? It can’t keep anything to itself.
2. My doctor told me I need a lot of patience… and prescribed me a 2-hour waiting room appointment.
3. Impatience is the ability to wait for things to not happen.
4. My patience is like a light switch: it can be turned off in an instant.
5. Why did the impatient woman bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
6. I’m so patient, I challenge you to a waiting contest. Ready, set, go… still waiting.
7. Did you hear about the patient man who was still waiting for his ship to come in? It ended up sinking.
8. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Patience flies out the window.
9. Why did the teacher go to the doctor? She had no patients left.
10. I tried to have patience, but it kept me waiting.

3. Keep Calm and Giggle On: The Ultimate Collection of Funny Patience Jokes

1. Why can’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it’s two-tired of waiting.
2. My patience is like a muscle, the more I use it, the stronger it gets.
3. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show its patience in dealing with traffic.
4. Patience is a virtue… I don’t have.
5. How do you make time fly? Throw a clock out the window.
6. My doctor told me to have more patience, but I can’t wait to see if it works.
7. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
8. I’m waiting for my ship to come in, but it seems to be stuck in traffic.
9. Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants.
10. I have the patience of a saint… Saint Losing My Mind.

4. From Waiting in Line to Dealing with Slow Drivers: The Best Patience Jokes for Every Situation

1. If patience is a virtue, then I must be a saint… Saint Frustrated.
2. What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor.
3. Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
4. I have the patience of a saint… Saint Eye Roll.
5. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets.
6. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
7. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? She kept running away from the ball.
8. I have a lot of patience, but I draw the line at waiting in line.
9. Time is like a circus, always packing up and moving away.
10. I’m just waiting for my moment to shine… but the spotlight seems to be broken.

5. Lighten the Mood and Crack a Smile with These Side-Splitting Patience Jokes

1. Patience is a virtue, unless it’s waiting for someone to stop talking.
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
3. My patience is like a soap bubble: fragile and easily popped.
4. Time is the best teacher, but it kills all its students.
5. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
6. I tried to have patience, but I couldn’t find it in stock.
7. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
8. What do you call a magician on a plane? A flying sorcerer.
9. Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet… or so I’ve heard.
10. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.