In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best pandemic jokes, pandemic puns and pandemic dad jokes to make you laugh.
Laughing through the lockdown: The top pandemic jokes to lighten the mood
1. Why did the math book look sad during the pandemic? Because it had too many problems.
2. My wife asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo during the lockdown. I had to put my foot down.
3. How do you organize a space party during a pandemic? You planet!
4. I asked the librarian for a book on paranoia during the pandemic. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award during the lockdown? Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. My quarantine routine is simple: eat, sleep, disinfect, repeat.
7. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers during the pandemic? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
8. I accidentally wiped my computer screen with hand sanitizer. Now I’m Facebook friends with 3 different women named “Ella.”
9. My plants keep dying during the lockdown, probably because they’re not getting enough sun… or water… or love.
10. I asked the ghost in my house to start doing some chores during the pandemic. It said, “Sorry, I’m just here for the boos.”
Quarantine quips: Funny jokes about life during a pandemic
1. My mountain won’t even let me climb it during the pandemic. It’s summiting me.
2. I bought shoes from a drug dealer during the lockdown. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms during the pandemic? Because they make up everything.
4. I’m reading a horror story in Braille during the lockdown. Something bad is about to happen… I can feel it.
5. My friend coughed and said it wasn’t a symptom of COVID-19, just allergies. I told him, “Don’t be sneezist.”
6. I’m writing a book about hurricanes and viruses during the lockdown… It’s a real page-turner.
7. Did you hear about the restaurant called Karma that closed during the pandemic? There was no menu: you get what you deserve.
8. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo during the lockdown. So I had to put my foot down.
9. Why did the coffee file a police report during the pandemic? It got mugged.
10. I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motivations questioned during the lockdown.
Keeping it light: Hilarious social distancing jokes to share with friends
1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore? Because they make up everything!
2. I am reading a horror story in Braille during this pandemic… something bad is about to happen… I can feel it!
3. I would tell you a joke about the quarantine, but it needs 14 days to sit by itself first!
4. Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet during social distancing.
5. Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
6. Why did the klutz break up with his vacuum cleaner salesman girlfriend during the pandemic? Because she told him it was just sucking the life out of him.
7. I’m not addicted to hand sanitizer, I’ve come clean during social distancing.
8. What do you call panic buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst käse scenario.
9. I asked my dog what he thought about social distancing. His response? “I already do that. I never leave the house.”
10. The World Health Organization warned about an outbreak of dancing in the streets during the pandemic. They’re calling it the “boogie-virus.”
Mask-wearing humor: The best jokes about staying safe in style
1. I would tell a joke about face masks, but it would be too tearable.
2. When this pandemic is behind us, do you think face masks will be the new fashion statement, or will we be burned out on them?
3. A friend told me about their fabric face masks, but I’m more of a faceband guy.
4. Why did the student refuse to wear his face mask to school? He wanted to show his true colors!
5. I have a mask that looks like a nose and lips. I love how realistic it looks, even though it makes me look like a proper nosy person!
6. Did you hear about the guy who stopped wearing a face mask? It’s all over his face, but he doesn’t get it.
7. Why did the lettuce refuse to wear a mask during the pandemic? Because it wanted to “lettuce breathe.”
8. I tried to make a coronavirus joke but this time it flopped worse than the CDC in February.
9. Why did the foodie refuse to wear a face mask made of bacon? It was bad for his cholesterol.
10. I wore a face mask with an upside-down smiley face to the store. The cashier said, “Oh, you’re one of THOSE people.”
Virtual laughter: Zoom jokes to bring a smile to your face during the pandemic
1. My boss invited me to a Zoom meeting but I accidentally declined. I hope the mute button works in real life.
2. My cat walked across my computer during a Zoom meeting, so now there’s a paw-sitively adorable video bomb in our conference call.
3. I tried to make a Zoom call while my kids were playing nearby. Let’s just say the mute button becomes very important when explaining a sensitive topic.
4. Why do video witches make great Zoom presenters? They always know how to put a spell on the audience.
5. What do you call a conference call that’s held over pasta? Spaghetting things done!
6. My internet connection is so slow during Zoom meetings, it’s like being back in the dial-up days. I’m waiting for my screen to start making strange noises next.
7. I joined a virtual pub quiz on Zoom, but no one could see me because my camomile was too low.
8. I’ve seen so many Zoom backgrounds during this quarantine, I feel like I’ve traveled around the world from my couch.
9. Why was the ghost so good at Zoom meetings? Because he had an excellent “haunting” presence.
10. I sat in on a Zoom meeting with ten different people named Dan. It was a real “Dan-tastic” experience.