Top Painful Jokes, Painful Puns, Painful Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best painful jokes, painful puns and painful dad jokes to make you laugh.

Ouch! These Painfully Funny Jokes Will Have You In Stitches

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two tired!
4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
5. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
6. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
7. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
8. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
9. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Hilariously Painful: The Best Cringeworthy Jokes to Make You Laugh

1. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
2. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
4. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
5. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
6. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
8. What did zero say to eight? Nice belt!
9. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

Laugh Through the Pain: Top Jokes That Will Leave You Sore from Chuckling

1. I’m on a sea food diet. I see food and I eat it.
2. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
4. I told a chemistry joke, but I got no reaction.
5. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
6. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two tired!
7. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
8. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
9. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
10. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

Funny Bone Ticklers: Jokes That Are So Bad, They’re Good

1. I would tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
2. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
4. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
6. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
9. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
10. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.

Keep Calm and Laugh On: The Most Painfully Hilarious Jokes You’ll Ever Hear

1. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
3. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
4. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two tired!
6. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every play has a cast.
7. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
9. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!