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Feeling Punny: The Top 10 Painful Puns That Will Make You Laugh
- Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him.
- What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing.
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his wound himself? Suture self.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
Laughing Through the Pain: Hilarious Dad Jokes and Wordplays
- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans!
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- What do you call a fish wearing a crown? Salmon-royalty.
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Painfully Funny: The Best Pun-derful Jokes to Brighten Your Day
- Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
- Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? He was on a roll.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
- What do you get when you plant kisses? Tulips.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
No Pain, All Gain: The Ultimate List of Pain Puns and One-Liners
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
- What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke him up.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Funny Bone Ticklers: Pain-fully Good Jokes for a Good Giggle
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I would tell you a chemestry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke him up.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.