Top Opossum Jokes, Opossum Puns, Opossum Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best opossum jokes, opossum puns and opossum dad jokes to make you laugh.

1. Hilarious Opossum Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

1. Why did the opossum cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
2. What do you call an opossum with no friends? Lonely as a tail.
3. How do opossums keep in touch with their friends? They give them a “hiss” call.
4. What did the opossum say when he bumped into a tree? “I’m just hanging around!”
5. Why was the opossum always invited to parties? He played dead the best!
6. What’s an opossum’s favorite board game? Mouse Trap.
7. Why was the opossum always on time? Because he had a great “possum-tude”!
8. How do opossums like their coffee? With a lot of “playin’ possum” cream.
9. What did the opossum say to his therapist? “I’m just hanging by a thread.”
10. Why did the opossum invite the skunk to his party? He wanted to “stink” up the dance floor!

2. The Top Opossum Puns That Are Sure to Tickle Your Funny Bone

1. Why did the opossum take up gardening? He heard it was a “rootin’ tootin'” good time!
2. How does an opossum clean his house? With a vacuum cleaner… because he’s a “suck-roast”!
3. Why did the opossum become a doctor? He wanted to “playin’ possum” on the job!
4. What’s an opossum’s favorite TV show? “The Walking Dead”… because he’s always pretending to be dead!
5. Why did the opossum go to the comedy club? He wanted to “play dead” with laughter!
6. How do opossums like to send messages? By “playin’ possum”!g-mail!
7. Why do opossums make terrible detectives? They’re always “playing dead” on the job!
8. Why did the opossum start a band? He heard they were great at “playing possum music”!
9. How does an opossum win an argument? By “playing dead” and avoiding the confrontation!
10. Why did the opossum bring a ladder to the party? He heard the drinks were on the “possum-tude” level!

3. Laugh Till You Drop with These Side-Splitting Opossum One-Liners

1. Why did the opossum go to school? To learn how to “playin’ possum” like a pro!
2. What do you call an opossum with a black belt? A “martial possum”!
3. Why did the opossum start a garden? He wanted to “playin’ possum” with his plants!
4. How did the opossum solve the mystery? By “playin’ possum” and confusing everyone!
5. Why did the opossum become a magician? He was great at “playing dead” tricks!
6. Why did the opossum get a part-time job as a waiter? He was great at “playing possum” with the customers!
7. What’s an opossum’s favorite music genre? “Possum rock”… it’s always “playing dead” good tunes!
8. Why did the opossum join the circus? He wanted to show off his “playing possum” skills under the big top!
9. How did the opossum become a successful business owner? By “playing dead” during negotiations!
10. Why did the opossum try his hand at stand-up comedy? He heard he was great at “playing dead”pan humor!

4. Opossum Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Have Everyone in Stitches

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opossum. Opossum who? Opossum-thing funny is going on here!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opossum. Opossum who? Opossum-thing tells me you’re gonna love this joke!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opossum. Opossum who? Opossum-body can resist laughing at these jokes!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opossum. Opossum who? Opossum-thing’s scratching at the door… oh wait, that’s just me laughing!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opossum. Opossum who? Opossum-day we’ll look back on these jokes and laugh!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opossum. Opossum who? Opossum-ply hilarious jokes coming your way!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opossum. Opossum who? Opossum on over and listen to these funny jokes!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opossum. Opossum who? Opossum-pe you’re ready for some laughs!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opossum. Opossum who? Opossum-thing tells me you’re gonna crack up at this joke!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opossum. Opossum who? Opossum-body’s laughing harder than me right now!

5. The Ultimate List of Opossum Jokes for a Good Belly Laugh

1. What did the opossum say to the squirrel? “Hey, wanna hang out and ‘play dead’ with me?”
2. How do opossums stay in shape? By “playing dead” lifts and running on tread-mills!
3. What’s an opossum’s favorite ice cream flavor? “Playin’ possum” with sprinkles on top!
4. Why did the opossum go to the party? He heard there would be great music and lots of “playing possum” to do!
5. How do opossums stay calm in stressful situations? By “playing dead” and taking deep breaths!
6. Why did the opossum start a DIY channel on YouTube? He was great at “playing possum” and fixing things up!
7. What’s an opossum’s favorite movie genre? “Playin’ possum”-dies… they love a good scare!
8. How do opossums make decisions? By “playing dead” and letting fate decide their path!
9. Why did the opossum start a book club? He loved “playing dead” in different worlds through literature!
10. What did the opossum say to the raccoon? “Let’s go dumpster diving and ‘play dead’ together!”