Top Onion Jokes, Onion Puns, Onion Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best onion jokes, onion puns and onion dad jokes to make you laugh.

Tears of Laughter: Hilarious Onion Jokes That Will Make You Cry (With Laughter)

1. Why did the onion break up with the garlic? Because it couldn’t handle the bad breath!
2. How do you make an onion laugh? Tell it a corny joke!
3. Why did the onion win the talent show? Because it knew how to bring the house down!
4. What did the onion say to the vegetable who was feeling down? Don’t cry, things will get butter!
5. Why did the onion go to the party alone? Because it didn’t want to get jalapeño business!
6. What do you call an onion that’s a coward? A yella onion!
7. Why did the onion turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
8. How do onions flirt? They use sweet talk!
9. Why do onions make terrible secret keepers? Because they always end up crying!
10. What do you call an onion that’s a great dancer? A salsa onion!

Peel Back the Layers of Humor: Funny Onion Puns to Make You Smile

1. What’s an onion’s favorite dance move? The peel and reveal!
2. Why did the onion get in trouble at school? Because it was a bad influence on the rest of the vegetables!
3. How do you make an onion cry? Show it a sad movie!
4. Did you hear about the onion detective? He always knew how to get to the root of the problem!
5. What do you call an onion who’s a detective? Sherlock Cloves!
6. Why did the onion sit at the computer all day? Because it wanted to be a root-er!
7. What’s an onion’s favorite sport? Peel-oton!
8. What do you call an onion that’s a great listener? A good bulb!
9. What’s an onion’s favorite song? “Tear-ible” by Beyoncé!
10. How do onions keep in touch? They send tear-ograms!

Onion Humor: Laugh Out Loud with These Top Onion Jokes

1. Why did the onion go to therapy? Because it had too many layers to peel back!
2. What do you call an onion who’s in denial? A shallot!
3. Why did the onion go to the baseball game? It wanted to root, root, root for the home team!
4. How do you make an onion cry on its birthday? By chopping up some onions!
5. Why was the onion bad at math? It kept losing count of its layers!
6. What did the onion say to the garlic who was telling a joke? Stop being so shallot!
7. What’s an onion’s favorite TV show? Breaking Bad breath!
8. Why did the onion go to the party in a fancy suit? It wanted to look sharp!
9. What do you call an onion who’s a daredevil? A thrill-seeker!
10. How do onions apologize? They offer a heartfelt peel-ing!

Let’s Get Cooking: The Best Onion Jokes to Spice Up Your Day

1. Why was the onion upset at the potluck? Because it was feeling chopped liver!
2. What did the onion say to the mushroom at the cooking competition? Let’s stir things up!
3. Why did the onion go to the doctor? It had too many layers of issues to peel back!
4. What do you call an onion who’s a magician? The Great Peel-dini!
5. How do you make an onion laugh on a Friday night? Tell it a fry-day joke!
6. Why did the onion start a band? It wanted to make some onion rings!
7. What’s an onion’s favorite way to relax? Taking a hot bath!
8. Why did the onion go to the baseball game with the bell pepper? They wanted to be the jalapeño poppers!
9. What did the onion say to the tomato who was feeling blue? Ketchup, we can’t have you crying!
10. Why did the onion get a job at the bakery? It wanted to be a roll model!

A-PEEL-ing Comedy: Ridiculously Funny Onion Jokes You Can’t Resist

1. Why did the onion go to the comedy club? It wanted to make the crowd cry (with laughter)!
2. What do you call an onion who’s a chef? A sous chef!
3. Why did the onion go to the beach? It wanted to work on its tan lines (of layers)!
4. How do you make an onion cry on Valentine’s Day? Break its heart (in half)!
5. Did you hear about the onion who became a movie star? It had layers of talent!
6. Why was the onion always late to social events? It had too many layers to get through!
7. What do you call an onion who’s on a diet? A shallot watcher!
8. How do onions send messages to each other? Through tear-agrams!
9. What’s an onion’s favorite subject in school? History, because it has so many layers of stories!
10. Why did the onion start a YouTube channel? It wanted to go viral!