Top Old Jokes, Old Puns, Old Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best old jokes, old puns and old dad jokes to make you laugh.

1. Hilarious Dad Jokes: Classic One-Liners That Never Get Old

1. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? Because it lost its bearings!
2. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down!
3. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
4. Don’t trust stairs, they’re always up to something.
5. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
7. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans!
8. I’m starting a new business making landmines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof!
9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

2. Side-Splitting Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and answer the door!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? Cow says moooo!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I miss you!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fig. Fig who? Fig-ure it out yourself!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh- MOO!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?

3. Top 10 Timeless Bar Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches

1. A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper replies, “You have a drink named Steve?”
2. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
3. A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
5. A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bartender here?”
6. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
7. A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
8. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says to the bartender, “A beer please, and one for the road!”
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

4. Laugh Out Loud: The Funniest Old School Jokes Worth Retelling

1. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
2. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
3. I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.
4. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
5. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
6. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
7. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
8. I knew a guy who collected candy canes. He had a lot of stick-to-itiveness.
9. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

5. Classic Comedy Gold: Vintage Jokes That Are Still Funny Today

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent!
2. I would tell you a joke about chemistry, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
3. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentickles!
4. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down!
5. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don’t know y.
6. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
7. The other day I heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
8. I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.
9. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
10. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.