In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best nut jokes, nut puns and nut dad jokes to make you laugh.
Crack up Your Friends with These Hilarious Nut Jokes
1. Why did the walnut go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little nutty!
2. What did the almond say to the cashew? You’re nuts!
3. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
4. Why was the pistachio late for the ballet? It lost its nuts and couldn’t find them anywhere!
5. What’s a nut’s favorite ice cream flavor? Pistachio!
6. Why did the walnut win the race? Because it was always a little nuts!
7. How do peanuts communicate? They use shell phones!
8. Why did the peanut go to the police station? It was a-salted!
9. What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? An astronut!
10. Why did the walnut break up with the cashew? It just couldn’t handle the pressure.
The Top Nutty Jokes to Make You Go Nuts with Laughter
1. Why did the nut stay in bed all day? It was feeling a bit cracked!
2. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
3. Why did the cashew go to school? To become a little nutty professor!
4. What did the mom nut say to her child when he refused to eat his vegetables? “Don’t be a nutcase, eat your greens!”
5. Why don’t walnuts ever fight? They always bury the hatchet!
6. What did the hazelnut say to the walnut during a race? Let’s go nuts and see who cracks first!
7. How does a nut cross the road? It shells out some cashew!
8. Why did the pistachio get a job at the bakery? It wanted to be a little nutty!
9. What did the walnut say to the lazy pistachio? Stop pistachio almonds and do something!
10. Why did the peanut join a band? It had a great set of shells!
Going Nuts for These Side-Splitting Jokes About Nuts
1. Why did the nut file a police report? It was a victim of assault!
2. What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut? I’m going bananas for you!
3. How many nuts does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it has to be a pretty bright one!
4. What do you call a walnut who loves Christmas? A jolly nut!
5. Why did the peanut go to the baseball game? It was a big fan of the ball games!
6. How do you make a walnut laugh? Crack it up!
7. Why did the almond go to the beach? It wanted to work on its tan lines!
8. What did the nut say when it got a compliment? Oh, shucks, you’re too kind!
9. Why did the peanut go to school? To become a little nutty professor!
10. What did the walnut say to the pistachio during a race? Let’s go nuts and see who cracks first!
From Puns to Punchlines: The Funniest Nut Jokes Around
1. What did the cashew say to the walnut? You’re driving me nuts!
2. How do you make a walnut laugh? Crack it up!
3. Why did the walnut go to the doctor? It was feeling a little nutty!
4. What did the walnut say to the pecan at the party? Let’s go nuts!
5. What’s a nut’s favorite pickup line? “Do you believe in love at first bite?”
6. Why did the pine nut go to the party alone? It couldn’t find a-corny!
7. What do you call a nut who is always in a hurry? A pistachio!
8. Why did the peanut get a promotion at work? It knew how to shell out great ideas!
9. What did the nut say to the walnut after a fight? Let’s bury the hatchet!
10. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
Laugh Your Shell Off with These Nut Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up
1. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
2. Why did the nut break up with the fruit? It just couldn’t find the nuts to stay!
3. How do you make a walnut run? Hide the nutcracker!
4. What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut? I’m going nuts for you!
5. Why did the pistachio never get invited to fancy dinner parties? It was always a little shellfish!
6. What’s a nut’s favorite movie genre? Nutty comedies!
7. Why did the almond go to the party alone? It couldn’t find a good date!
8. How do you make a walnut laugh? Crack it up!
9. What do you call a nut on the beach? A sandy nut!
10. Why did the peanut go to the baseball game? It was a big fan of the ball games!