Top Nuclear Jokes, Nuclear Puns, Nuclear Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best nuclear jokes, nuclear puns and nuclear dad jokes to make you laugh.

Blast Off with Laughter: Top Nuclear Jokes That Will Make You Glow

1. Why did the atom go to the party alone? Because they couldn’t find a suitable neutron!
2. What did the neutron say to the bartender? “I’ll have a beer… and keep it stable!”
3. Why was the atom upset? Because they lost an electron!
4. Did you hear about the radioactive cat? It had 18 half-lives!
5. Why was the nuclear physicist bad at cooking? He always fission for a microwave!
6. What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other? “I hope you’re not feeling too decayed today!”
7. Why did the neutron break up with the electron? There were too many bad vibes!
8. How does a proton apologize? By saying, “I’m positively sorry!”
9. Why do nuclear physicists make bad comedians? They can never get their timing right!
10. What did the nuclear reactor say to the comedian? “You’re really splitting me up!”

Reactor-ly Funny: Hilarious Nuclear Jokes to Split Your Sides

1. Why was the nucleus always getting into trouble? It had too many fission chips!
2. What do you call a nuclear cow? A fissionable!
3. How do you play hide and seek with a nuclear physicist? You split an atom and wait for the reaction!
4. Did you hear about the atom that lost its electrons? It was positively charged!
5. Why did the neutron cross the road? To get to the other isotope!
6. What do you call a nuclear pasta dish? Fission chips!
7. Why do neutrons never go hungry? Because they’re always splitting atoms for lunch!
8. Why did the atom get detention? Because it was a bad element!
9. What do you get when you cross a nuclear physicist with a pick-up line? Critical mass!
10. How does a nuclear physicist propose? With a carbon-ring!

Fission Fun: The Best Nuclear Jokes for Atomic Laughs

1. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
2. Why did the proton bring a jump rope to the bar? To keep things “positive!”
3. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
4. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
5. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
7. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
8. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
9. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
10. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

Uranium-ly Hilarious: Laugh Out Loud with These Nuclear Jokes

1. Why did the atom go to therapy? It had too many issues!
2. How do atoms flirt? They bond over shared electrons!
3. Why did the physicist break up with their partner? They needed space!
4. Did you hear about the scientist who was friends with helium and neon? He HeNeArMe!
5. Why did the neutrino go to the doctor? It had a lot of mass, but no charge!
6. What did the neutron say to the waitress? “How much for a chargeless meal?”
7. Why did the alpha particle go to the gym? To get more mass!
8. How do you find the missing electron? You just keep proton it!
9. What did the gamma ray say to the X-ray? “You’re shorter than me, but you have a lot of energy!”
10. Why did the neutrino cross the road? Because it was feeling neutral!

Going Critical: The Most Side-Splitting Nuclear Jokes You’ll Ever Hear

1. Why was the atom an excellent PR professional? It always had a positive spin!
2. What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms? 2Na!
3. How do you unlock a nuclear physicist’s car? With a uranium key!
4. Why did the electron go to jail? Because it was charged with battery!
5. What did the neutron say after his workout? “I’m feeling really positive today!”
6. Why do protons and neutrons love each other? Because they make a good nucleus!
7. What do you call a radioactive chef? Fission Chips!
8. How do you get rid of a deadly isotope? Use radiation therapy!
9. Why was the atom unsure about its relationship status? It was feeling negatively charged!
10. What did the nuclear physicist say in an argument? “Let’s keep this discussion non-fissional!”