In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best new york jokes, new york puns and new york dad jokes to make you laugh.
The Big Apple Funny Jokes: Hilarious New York City Humor
1. Why did the tomato turn red in Times Square? Because it saw the Big Apple!
2. What did the Broadway actor say when he broke his leg? “I can’t make my big debut now, I’m in a New York cast!”
3. Why did the statue in Central Park always look so calm? Because it had a pedestal-strian attitude!
4. What do you call a New Yorker who is always late? A “tardy”!
5. Why did the hot dog vendor in Brooklyn always win the lottery? He had all the “wiener” numbers!
6. Why was the Empire State Building always tired? Because it had too many stairs to climb!
7. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel!
8. Why do New Yorkers always carry umbrellas? In case of street showers from taxi honks!
9. What do you call a dog who can navigate the New York subway system? A metro-paw-litan!
10. Why did the hipster move to Brooklyn? He heard the underground music scene was “sub-way” better!
Laugh Out Loud with These New York State of Mind Jokes
1. Why did the Buffalo wings go to a Broadway show? They heard it was all about the sauce!
2. What did the pencil say to the paper in Albany? “I must draw attention to you!”
3. Why was the Syracuse basketball team always so good? They had a lot of “court” advantage!
4. What do you call a cow with no legs in Schenectady? Ground beef!
5. Why did the chicken cross the Hudson River? To get to the other side – New Jersey!
6. What do you call a restaurant in Rochester that only serves peas? The “Pea-sy Cafe”!
7. Why did the computer go to college in Ithaca? It wanted to stay “smart”!
8. What do you call a snowman in Buffalo? A “Chilly Willie”!
9. Why was the Niagara Falls so good at keeping secrets? It always had a “cascade” of water to drown out the noise!
10. Why was the baseball team in Binghamton always cold? Because they couldn’t find their mitts!
Empire State Laughs: The Funniest New York Jokes
1. Why did the Statue of Liberty have such a hard time getting a date? She always had a “torch” song!
2. What do you call a spider in Albany? A web developer!
3. Why was the coffee always so strong in New York? The beans were always “ground” to perfection!
4. What do you call a cat who lives in Queens? A purr-borough!
5. Why did the taxi driver in Manhattan always have a good sense of direction? He had a “yellow” compass!
6. Why did the squirrel in Central Park always have a full belly? He had a “nut-torious” reputation!
7. What do you call a musical set in Harlem? A “soulful”!
8. Why did the Brooklyn Bridge break up with its partner? It couldn’t handle the weight of the relationship!
9. Why did the hot dog vendor in the Bronx always have a lot of friends? He knew how to “relish” a good time!
10. What do you call a fish who loves New York City? A “swim-sation”!
From Manhattan to Staten: Funny Jokes About New York Boroughs
1. Why did the Manhattanite always carry a map? To navigate the concrete jungle!
2. What do you call a boat in Staten Island? A ferry-tale!
3. Why did the snake in the Bronx always have a tough time finding food? Because the rats were always running up “tall” buildings!
4. What did the hot dog say to the pretzel in Queens? “It’s nice to “knot” you”!
5. Why was the Brooklyn hipster always so cold? He had a flannel-wearing “chill” vibe!
6. What do you call a fashionista in Manhattan? A “couture” queen!
7. Why did the pigeon in Brooklyn always have a bad day? It couldn’t “perch” itself up!
8. What do you call a comedian in the Bronx? A jokester with a “boogie-down” attitude!
9. Why was the Staten Island ferry always a popular mode of transportation? Because it was a “shore” thing!
10. What do you call a tourist in Queens? A “queens-pert” at getting lost!
The Best of Broadway: Comedy Jokes About New York City
1. Why did the Broadway actress always carry extra pairs of shoes? She had a lot of “soles” to fill!
2. What do you call a lion who likes to sing show tunes in Manhattan? A “Broadway Roar-ty”!
3. Why was the theater in Times Square always so busy? It had a “stage” of emergency!
4. What did the Broadway director say to the actor who kept forgetting his lines? “Break a leg – and an arm, and a script!”
5. Why was the tap dancer in Brooklyn always so out of tune? He had a “rhythm” disorder!
6. What do you call a drama queen in Manhattan? A “stage-diva”!
7. Why did the musical in Queens always have a happy ending? Because it had a “key-note” resolution!
8. What did the jazz musician say to the saxophonist in Harlem? “Let’s blow this joint!”
9. Why was the comedian in Staten Island always so quick-witted? He had a “stat-ing” sense of humor!
10. What do you call a stand-up comedian in the East Village? A “microphone maestro”!