In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best nautical jokes, nautical puns and nautical dad jokes to make you laugh.
A Whale of a Good Time: Hilarious Nautical Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why did the whale cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.
2. How does a squid go into battle? Well-armed.
3. What do you call a fish in a tuxedo? Sofishticated.
4. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
5. What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of sharks? It came back with a skeleton crew.
6. Why did the crab never share its food? Because it was a little shellfish.
7. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
8. Why don’t lobsters like to share? Because they are shellfish.
9. How do seagulls fly over the sea? They need to take off from the bay.
10. Why don’t fish play basketball? Because they’re afraid of the net.
Anchors Aweigh: Funny Jokes About Sailing and Boating
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
2. How does a boat say hello? It waves.
3. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a boat? A trunk liner.
4. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
5. Why did the boat break up with the pier? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
6. How does the ocean say goodbye? It waves.
7. What kind of music do sailors listen to while sailing? Naval hymns.
8. Why did the sailor get lost at sea? He couldn’t find his whey.
9. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school? Arrrrrrt.
10. How do sailors communicate with each other? By using signal buoys.
Ship Happens: Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Seafaring Enthusiasts
1. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
2. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
3. Why did the sailor become a musician? He had perfect pitch.
4. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
5. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King Neptune.
6. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
8. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark alley? Kitty litter.
9. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
10. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
Ahoy Matey! Jokes That Will Make You Seas the Day
1. What did the ocean say to the sailboat? Nothing, it just waved.
2. How does a pirate propose to his girlfriend? He gives her a ring.
3. Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big.
4. What do you call a pirate’s ironing board? A smooth sail.
5. What is a pirate’s favorite restaurant? A-sushi.
6. Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his “Aye”Q.
7. How does a pirate clean his ship? With a bucket and some sponges.
8. What did the ocean say to the pirate ship? Nothing, it just waved.
9. Why do pirates make terrible singers? Because they can’t hit the high seas.
10. How did the pirate stop smoking? He used the patch.
Knot Your Average Humor: Side-Splitting Nautical Jokes for Sailors and Landlubbers Alike
1. How do you know if you’re on a well-run ship? It’s a tight ship.
2. Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
3. Why don’t fish like basketball? Because they’re afraid of the net.
4. How do sailor’s vent their frustrations? By throwing an anchor fit.
5. What do you get when you cross a pirate and a pedicure? Black tootsies.
6. Why was the ocean embarrassed? Because it saw the bottom of the ship.
7. Why did the sailor become a boxer? He could always stay on his feet in rough waters.
8. Why don’t sailors play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding in the sea.
9. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
10. Why don’t fish like seaweed? Because they’re afraid of kelp.