Top Nail Jokes, Nail Puns, Nail Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best nail jokes, nail puns and nail dad jokes to make you laugh.

“Nailing It: The Top Nail Jokes to Make You Laugh Out Loud”

1. Why did the carpenter go to therapy? He had too many nail-biting moments.
2. What do you call a nail that isn’t yours? A-borrowed-in.
3. Why did the nail refuse to work? It was feeling a little hammered.
4. How do nails stay calm? They take a deep breath and let it sink in.
5. Why did the nail file a police report? It was a victim of metal theft.
6. What did the hammer say to the nail? Let’s nail this project together!
7. What’s a nail’s favorite dessert? Pound cake!
8. Why don’t nails ever get lost? They always know which way is up.
9. What do you call a group of nails that hang out together? The nail salon crew.
10. Why did the nail bring a ruler to the party? It wanted to measure up to the competition.

“Funny Fingertips: Nail Jokes That Will Nail Your Humor”

1. Did you hear about the nail that got into a fight? It nailed its opponent to the ground.
2. Why did the nail go to school? It wanted to be a straight-A student.
3. What do you call a nail that’s always on time? Punctual.
4. Why did the nail cross the road? To get to the other sideboard.
5. What’s a nail’s favorite TV show? “Nailing it with Tim Westwood.”
6. How do you make a nail laugh? Tickling its funny bone!
7. Why was the nail blushing? It saw a screw without its nuts.
8. What did the nail say to the wood? “You nailed it!”
9. How do nails communicate? Through social nail-working.
10. Why do nails make terrible comedians? They always hit the wrong punchline.

“Laughing All the Way to the Nail Salon: Hilarious Nail Jokes”

1. What did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time!
2. Why did the nail break up with the screw? It just couldn’t handle the pressure.
3. What’s a nail’s favorite kind of music? Heavy metal.
4. How do nails solve problems? They think outside the toolbox.
5. What did the nail bring to the party? Its dance moves were nailed down!
6. Why did the nail refuse to dance? It didn’t want to get hammered.
7. What do you call a nail that’s been through a lot? A seasoned veteran.
8. Why was the nail the star of the show? It always knew how to nail its lines.
9. What’s a nail’s favorite hobby? DIY-ing!
10. How do nails stay in shape? They hit the nail gym every day.

“Nail Polish and Punchlines: The Best Nail Jokes of All Time”

1. Why did the nail polish bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to reach new heights.
2. What’s a nail’s favorite type of movie? A rom-comedy.
3. Why do nails make great detectives? They always know how to nail a case.
4. What did the nail say to the hammer when it was late? You really nailed the timing.
5. How do nails send mail? Through the hammer postal service.
6. Why did the nail skip dessert? It was already filled up with screws.
7. What do you call a nail that’s a big fan of puns? A witty nail.
8. Why was the nail always the MVP? It knew how to nail it every time.
9. How do nails avoid getting rusty? They have a strict anti-oxidation routine.
10. What’s a nail’s favorite kind of joke? A knock-knock joke!

“Manicured Humor: Nail Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches”

1. Why don’t nails ever go to school? They’re already hammered.
2. What did the nail say to the hammer who was hogging all the attention? “Nail me in on the conversation!”
3. Why did the nail wear sunglasses? It didn’t want to be recognized as a celebrity.
4. What’s a nail’s favorite sport? Fencing!
5. How do nails stay healthy? They have a balanced diet of iron.
6. Why did the nail refuse to go on a date? It was already head over heels.
7. What’s a nail’s favorite book? “Hammer Time: A Memoir.”
8. Why was the nail always so confident? It knew it had nailed it from the start.
9. What did the nail say when it won the award for best supporting role? “I’d like to thank the screws in my life.”
10. How do nails keep warm in the winter? They put on their shellac coats!