Top Mortgage Jokes, Mortgage Puns, Mortgage Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best mortgage jokes, mortgage puns and mortgage dad jokes to make you laugh.

The Top 5 Hilarious Mortgage Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

1. Why did the banker break up with the mortgage broker? They kept saying they needed some space.
2. Why did the mortgage get turned down at the bar? It had too many “points.”
3. How does a mortgage pay for a cup of coffee? With an espresso mortgage.
4. Why did the mortgage laugh at the APR? Because it had a great sense of humor.
5. Why did the mortgage broker go to therapy? They had too many commitment issues.

Get Your Giggle On with These Mortgage Humor Gems

1. Why did the mortgage refuse to go on a date? It was afraid of getting “tied down.”
2. What do you call a mortgage that is always late? A procrastina-loan.
3. Why did the real estate agent carry a ladder? To help with high-interest rates.
4. How do mortgages communicate? They send each other “escrow” messages.
5. Why did the mortgage get a job at the bakery? It wanted to “dough” its part.

Laugh Your Way to Lower Rates with These Mortgage Jokes

1. Why did the couple break up after buying a house? They couldn’t agree on the mortgage terms.
2. How do mortgages stay in shape? They do “interest-ing” exercises.
3. What did the mortgage say to the bank? “You’ve really amortized my heart.”
4. Why did the mortgage need therapy? It had “rate” anxiety.
5. What do you call a haunted house with a mortgage? A repay-old mansion.

From ARMs to APRs: Mortgage Jokes That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone

1. Why did the adjustable-rate mortgage break up with the fixed-rate mortgage? It needed some space to grow.
2. Why did the APR go to the party? To show everyone it had great “rate.”
3. Why did the mortgage professor get an award? For having outstanding “principal.”
4. Why did the mortgage go to the doctor? It was feeling a little “under the rates.”
5. Why did the ARM cross the road? To get to the other “index.”

Don’t Be House Poor, Be Laugh Rich with These Mortgage Jokes

1. Why did the mortgage get a tattoo? It wanted to show off its “ARM.”
2. Why did the mortgage walk into a bar? It heard they were serving “points.”
3. How did the mortgage propose to the house? It put a ring on the “equity.”
4. Why did the APR have a bad day? It was feeling “compound” interest.
5. What did the mortgage say to the homebuyer? “I’m here for you, through thick and thin.”